9 months in, 9 months out. Postpartum the journey so far.

9 months in, 9 months out. Postpartum the journey so far.

Newborn days and now 9 months old. The growth of us both inside and out. Photo @roseoates_

9 months of GROWTH for both of us.

Pregnancy felt long yet the 9 months of your growing earthside seemed to fly both equally fast and, in some parts, so very painfully slow.

When I birthed her into this world, I had no idea I also would be totally re-born.
It’s beautiful, powerful, confusing,
and painful.
All the different emotions manage to surge within you seemingly at the same time.

We nurture, care, and raise our children all while trying to understand and care for ourselves in the moments we have left.

I have struggled this postpartum, hit the lowest of lows, I look back at that photo on the left and remember the pain, but I also look at it with a fondness; I am soft, vulnerable, lost but also happy, proud and in awe of this beautiful human being that laid next to me who only a mere week before was inside of me.

9 months of Growth for us both.

9 months on and I haven’t bounced back… I never intended to,
my life and body are only going one way and that’s forward.

My body is still soft – but there is STRENGTH in that softness,
to grow a life my body had to make room, to stretch and grow – it is soft
because it needed to have the strength to support life itself.

9 months on I’m still vulnerable – But I no longer see it as weakness,
it is a sign of strength, courage, and bravery.

I have learnt to lean into it. Being vulnerable is raw
and truthful – there is no hiding in it, it has taught me to listen to myself, connect
and more than ever authentically live my truth.

9 months on and life has gotten clearer – the pain has gone, it’s still messy, confusing, exhausting and at times stinky.

9 months on and we have both grown and gotten stronger.

9 months on my darling baby girl has taught me so much in her short time, I’m sure she will continue to teach me for the rest of my life.

9 months on writing this I have tears streaming down my face
thinking about it all and of my darling daughter.

9 months ago as you were born…
Cover me in sunshine played softly
in the background.
And that you have – done every day of your life. I love you.

Esme Phoenix.
And just like the Phoenix, I have been re-birthed into the truest version of me.

Where ever you are postpartum or in motherhood – Be proud of your growth and know that you aren’t in this alone.

Love Rose x

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