The Fourth Trimester; things I discovered that nobody decided to tell me. The good, bad and funny.

The Fourth Trimester; things I discovered that nobody decided to tell me. The good, bad and funny.

Cranky Esmé and I in the first few weeks. Image @foxandwildling_photography

Tears, milk, poops and smiles have been had by both my baby Esmé and myself.

Although I’ll forever be amazed by what our bodies go through to create a life and the power of a person through the journey of motherhood, there are still some bat shit crazy times in the months following your baby birth. Some things that we have all read about and totally expect and then other things that you don’t hear about all so much!!

This is my fourth season postpartum and I’m still getting surprised, these are some of the things I’ve experienced following my babies, that nobody really told me would happen…

  • Nappies – your baby isn’t the only one that will be wearing them. No shame in it either, having worn pads before trust me these adult nappies are the way to go… build for comfort not style haha
  • Some days you will fall in love with your partner all over again and other times you will want to rip them a new one.
  • Love at first sight – is NOT always the case it can days or weeks even to grow and bond together with your baby. The love is no less.
  • Your hair will malt like a Husky in the summertime, hairballs clogging the shower drain, leaving you wondering if it will grow back or there will be hell toupee.
  • Waking up WET… not in a good way either, whether it be night sweats, baby vomit or lying in a pool of your own breast milk.
  • Baby wipes – where have they been all our lives?! The all-purpose wet cloth for butts, quick all over body cleanse, sticky fingers, cleaning tables and dusting everything.
  • Your body may become a bit of a stranger to you, someone you don’t recognize in the mirror just quite yet, it might take time to learn to love it and that’s ok – at times you also look at it in complete awe of what it has done. 
  • You will think about poo ALOT – yes, your babies BUT the first one primarily being your own.
  • Sex – with hormones still raging, you either can’t wait to jump back at it or you are completely dead scared to let anything near your vagina.
  • The nipples – darkening and increasing in size, I heard it’s so the baby can see them… Well, mine are like big pieces of Hungarian salami so if she can’t see these somethings wrong!
  • There will be days when you feeling utterly alone and isolated by your newborn bubble, days morphing into one another, longing for a little freedom.
  • There are going to be days that test you and your mental health.
  • Baby outfits with buttons – cute at first but at 3 am, 17 buttons aren’t so cute anymore.
  • Sleep when the baby sleeps advice… well when the baby finally sleeps – you will probably scroll the whole internet, shower or do the washing.
  • You will say and do stupid stuff while tired. Bring on the coffee

Trust me mamas you are never alone.

There are 100’s of beautiful moments too (like the cute little grin on E’s face)

3 months postpartum and 3 months old! Yay!

What did you discover in the fourth trimester that no-one told you about?

Did you experience any of these? Or something completely different that surprised you?
Please add to the list!

9 Months of growing you, a lifetime of loving you ahead.

9 Months of growing you, a lifetime of loving you ahead.

These were my final thoughts before going into hospital to be induced with my fourth and final baby girl Esme Phoenix.

Just off on date to meet one of the great loves of my life.
I go carrying nerves, my anxiety, excitement, but also with a sense of power within.
I feel a sense of wonder at the power of a women’s mind and body during these hours no matter the way we each choose to birth – we are truly creatures of survival, birthing the future.

Two people will be born today.
The mother and child.

I often feel I’m a young soul, still completely at awe with the beauty of life, the body and birth itself.

Still I walk away from my home completely into the unknown of who I’ll be when I return with this new life in my arms, I truly feel we go through a metamorphosis as we labour, as we become a mother, two people are born on the same day.
The mother and child.

Whether it is for the very first time or not – we transition and in turn our lives are forever changed.

Although I have done this before, the unknown still awaits not without any fear and for this I’m not ashamed, I’m only human and I know it’s ok to feel it but I also know I can do this, and to trust my body.
Yet I’m ridiculously excited and have visions dancing through my mind imagining what she will look like and who she might become.

I have no solid birth plan other than to have my baby at the end of this safely in my arms, I refuse to put pressure on myself like had in the past and give myself permission to make any choice I feel I need or want to during the process.
I know I will be safe with Craig by my side and
I’m thankful already that he gives me that peace.

I will breathe and focus on remembering during the surges that I will finally get to meet this little soul as she makes her way out of my body.

It is the last time that I will have two hearts beating inside me.

Months of growing you, a lifetime of loving you ahead.

See you on the other side✌🏽

❤️Rose



9 Months of growing you, a lifetime of loving you ahead.

Natural labour or a C-section? Drugs or no drugs? So many nosey questions.

Natural labour or a C-section? Drugs or no drugs? So many nosey questions.

Perth Mamas to be, all different, yet all the same. Captured by Fox and Wilding Photography for @amothersempire

Natural labour or a C-section? Drugs or no drugs?
Here I’m in the thick of the third trimester, 38 weeks and what feels like now the longest 2 weeks of all time to go.
It’s my last pregnancy, the last time my body will grow a life, share a heartbeat with another in the same body.

Now at this stage of pregnancy, so many questions are being asked and opinions are flying in fast…
So are you going to have natural labour or a C-section? Drugs or no drugs?
Breast or bottle? Are you still going to be feeding that toddler of yours AND a baby?
Oh wow, you are huge, sure there’s only one haha? (Yeh original mate ha)
Your not very big are you?
Don’t worry you will shed that baby weight in no time!

And my personal favourite, Is this your last, I mean seriously you can’t be going for any more surely?!

And as for that last question that since I’ve chosen to share snippets of my life on here…
It is most definitely the LAST time, my body has had enough the Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) has completely taken its toll on my body, my mind and changed my way of life completely over the past 9mths.
And so it is official Mr. Oatesy has sorted that out #snippysnip phewwww I feel an overwhelming sense of relief!

So here’s the thing, why do ANY of these questions matter at all?
However, your baby comes into the world doesn’t make it any less incredible – in fact it doesn’t matter one single bit.
It doesn’t make you any less of a mother than anyone else, yet I have had many conversations with other women telling me that feel they often feel so much pressure to explain their choices and that they often have felt immense judgement. This is not on, especially when the judgement is at times actually coming from other women, we are in an age where women are rising more than ever, using their voices and striving further for empowerment, so to grow further towards this it’s important to remember to support each other, not pass judgment in these very personal and important life changing moments.


Adding to this, at the end of the day pretty sure nobody really gives a hoot whether the baby came out the sunroof, your veejay (or someone else’s for that matter) and whether you decided to take ALL the drugs or none at all! We all just hope for a safe delivery for both mother and child and healthy baby.

However, YOU choose to birth you baby or feed your baby; boobs or bottle is your business, if they are fed, healthy and happy what is it to someone else?
So bloody what if you don’t shed your “baby weight” in no time, so what if you don’t shed it ever AND equally if you fit back into your pre-pregnancy jeans 2 days after – GO you!

Don’t EVER feel the need to explain YOUR PERSONAL choices or experiences.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, BUT here’s the thing not every opinion NEEDS to be voiced.
Remarkably you can also have an opinion silent in your own mind where nobody else hears it *shocking right?!

Have you experienced any of the questions before, or found you felt subject to judgment for your choices?

Feel free to share your experiences in the comments – if you feel comfortable, remember you are not alone – many people often go through similar experiences too and it can be hard to share.

Be kind always,

Rose x

The “Socially Acceptable” number of kids.

The “Socially Acceptable” number of kids.

Our family… with one more due 2021. Photo- LALU photo
The “socially acceptable” number of kids.

I had NO idea but when you get people on the topic of children, the number you want to have or whether to have any at all, it brings out huge amounts of opinions in people. It’s a topic that should and shouldn’t get throw around and its thought to be acceptable to comment outright on somebody’s sex life. Crazy right?

Here’s what’s not acceptable is the belief that it is okay to comment on somebody’s choice whether to have kids or the amount which they have or may want

Personally this is how I’ve heard it go way too many times…

1 Child – It’s not enough “when will you have another? “Are you having any more?” “They will be lonely…”

2 Children – the perfect number especially if you have a boy and a girl because if you have 2 of the same sex – are you going to try for a girl? (or boy?)

3 Children – Acceptable but you are done now, right? Unless you have all one gender then you simply NEED to have another.

4+ plus – Oh wow don’t you guys have a TV? Oh wow, that’s a big family! You guys aren’t going to have anymore now, right? Oh was it planned?
You need to keep your legs closed (all of these I’ve heard in my last 26weeks)

NO kids / I don’t want kids. Well that’s a statement that most commonly prompts total disbelief! “When are you going to have one?” “Oh but eventually right?” “You will regret it later in life!” “Why not?”

It is not okay to comment on someone else’s personal choice
Yet some people seem to think it’s appropriate to ask deeply personal questions or make these statements.

Just stop. Think before you speak.

Children, no children its none of anyone’s business.

Put kindly, it simply doesn’t affect you and often there is a huge range of reasons that are behind these decisions, some being incredibly personal, even distressing.

And if you receive these comments or statements YOU don’t need to provide a explanation whatsoever. NONE.

You do you.
Your life, your choice.

Have you received these comments yourself before? Feel free to share them here or join the discussion over on my Instagram post HERE

Rose x

Photo- Fliss and Co
Baby Sleep Consultant – Our journey to getting a good night’s sleep.

Baby Sleep Consultant – Our journey to getting a good night’s sleep.

Butter wouldn’t melt right!? Octavia Knight 2 weeks old. Photo La lu Photo

Sleep. Something I took for granted and should have appreciated in my pre-motherhood days way more than I did.

My husband and I had our third daughter Octavia in September last year. I was that person that had two other children that had just naturally slept well through the night.

So having my third baby, I naively assumed Octavia would be the same – oh how wrong I was.

By nearly six months, Octavia was still waking every 2 hours or more during the night and only catnapping during the day.

Sleep deprivation was once used as a form of torture, so why was this miniature human torturing me?
Her naps barely gave me the time to run around to do a few chores and make a cup of coffee.
I was exhausted every day, and the fatigue was becoming overwhelming.

I spent the little time my baby was sleeping wondering what I was doing wrong.

What did sleep felt like again? I was drinking all the coffee, wishing my husband was capable of breastfeeding and googling “how to get my baby to sleep”.

One late night scrolling through Instagram for the thirtieth time, I found the account that would save my sanity and help give both Octavia and I the sleep we both desperately needed.
I had stumbled across Hayley from Slumber and Sprout.

In the newborn love bubble – tired but bursting with love. Photo Lalu photo

Hayley is a fellow Perth mum, certified paediatric sleep consultant and owner of Slumber and Sprout. She provides easy to follow tips, an abundance of advice on her socials. She offers a variety of packages to help get your little ones sleeping soundly through the night and napping well through the day.
I learnt so many new things about babies and sleep; for example, how much day sleep our bubbas actually need

  • 3 months: 4 – 5 hours
  • 6-7 months: 3.5 – 4 hours
  • 9-11 months: 3 – 3.5 hours
  • 12 months: 2.5 -3 hours
  • 18-24 months: 2 – 2.5 hours
  • 3 years: 1 hour

Our little humans will also go through FIVE sleep regressions by the age of two. At four months, 8-10 months, 12 months, 18 months and 24 months!

How did it work?

I started by explaining my babies current sleep situation, and Hayley devised a plan to set up healthy sleep habits and resolve the sleep issues, based personally on our family.
It is not a one size fits all approach which I loved, because as a mum of older children, Octavia’s sleep needed to work around school runs and other extracurricular activities.
I had access to a private portal online to log all of Octavia’s sleep and activity throughout the day. Hayley closely monitored her progress and made suggestions accordingly.

With just the simplest of changes within two weeks, Octavia was napping during the day like a champ!
Soon Octavia went from waking every two hours and only cap napping, to now waking only once a night and having solid naps during the day.
In turn, Craig and I stopped feeling like coffee-fuelled zombies every day, and the whole mood of the household lightened.

I found it hard to ask for help at first, but I’m so happy I did. It doesn’t matter if you are a first-time mum or you are a mum of many, each child is different, so there is no shame in getting some help and support if you need it, especially when it comes to getting a good nights sleep!

Need some help getting your little one sleeping too?

Hayley provides a range of packages and services including in-home sleep consultations here in Perth

You can find out more about these services on her website HERE

Or follow Hayley and Katie on Instagram for daily tips and advice @slumberandsprout

Indi and Scarlett gushing over their new sister. Photo La Lu Photo