Natural labour or a C-section? Drugs or no drugs? So many nosey questions.

Natural labour or a C-section? Drugs or no drugs? So many nosey questions.

Perth Mamas to be, all different, yet all the same. Captured by Fox and Wilding Photography for @amothersempire

Natural labour or a C-section? Drugs or no drugs?
Here I’m in the thick of the third trimester, 38 weeks and what feels like now the longest 2 weeks of all time to go.
It’s my last pregnancy, the last time my body will grow a life, share a heartbeat with another in the same body.

Now at this stage of pregnancy, so many questions are being asked and opinions are flying in fast…
So are you going to have natural labour or a C-section? Drugs or no drugs?
Breast or bottle? Are you still going to be feeding that toddler of yours AND a baby?
Oh wow, you are huge, sure there’s only one haha? (Yeh original mate ha)
Your not very big are you?
Don’t worry you will shed that baby weight in no time!

And my personal favourite, Is this your last, I mean seriously you can’t be going for any more surely?!

And as for that last question that since I’ve chosen to share snippets of my life on here…
It is most definitely the LAST time, my body has had enough the Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) has completely taken its toll on my body, my mind and changed my way of life completely over the past 9mths.
And so it is official Mr. Oatesy has sorted that out #snippysnip phewwww I feel an overwhelming sense of relief!

So here’s the thing, why do ANY of these questions matter at all?
However, your baby comes into the world doesn’t make it any less incredible – in fact it doesn’t matter one single bit.
It doesn’t make you any less of a mother than anyone else, yet I have had many conversations with other women telling me that feel they often feel so much pressure to explain their choices and that they often have felt immense judgement. This is not on, especially when the judgement is at times actually coming from other women, we are in an age where women are rising more than ever, using their voices and striving further for empowerment, so to grow further towards this it’s important to remember to support each other, not pass judgment in these very personal and important life changing moments.


Adding to this, at the end of the day pretty sure nobody really gives a hoot whether the baby came out the sunroof, your veejay (or someone else’s for that matter) and whether you decided to take ALL the drugs or none at all! We all just hope for a safe delivery for both mother and child and healthy baby.

However, YOU choose to birth you baby or feed your baby; boobs or bottle is your business, if they are fed, healthy and happy what is it to someone else?
So bloody what if you don’t shed your “baby weight” in no time, so what if you don’t shed it ever AND equally if you fit back into your pre-pregnancy jeans 2 days after – GO you!

Don’t EVER feel the need to explain YOUR PERSONAL choices or experiences.

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, BUT here’s the thing not every opinion NEEDS to be voiced.
Remarkably you can also have an opinion silent in your own mind where nobody else hears it *shocking right?!

Have you experienced any of the questions before, or found you felt subject to judgment for your choices?

Feel free to share your experiences in the comments – if you feel comfortable, remember you are not alone – many people often go through similar experiences too and it can be hard to share.

Be kind always,

Rose x

Toxic Positivity – How too much positivity can have a negative side.

Toxic Positivity – How too much positivity can have a negative side.

Second Trimester still still struggling through Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG)

The human experience is defined by the full range of emotions.
We can BOTH be grateful for what we have and still feel pain and suffering at the SAME time.

Often women and mothers are made to feel guilty and ungrateful when they are open about their struggles and challenges.

There is a misconception that if you are struggling then you are not grateful…
When in reality these two emotions can live side by side.
You can be grateful for your pregnancy and still feel the emotions of being crippled by HG.
You can be grieving over miscarriage and still be grateful for the children you have.
You may have gone through hell and back with IVF to get pregnant, but not be enjoying your pregnancy and in turn be feeling huge amounts of guilt. Like I should be grateful right?!
Yet BOTH of these feelings are valid and one does not cancel out the other.

I have been talking with Katherine @thejoyfulhabitscoach and she explained that this way of thinking has a proper term – it’s called TOXIC POSITIVITY.
Toxic positivity encourages us to always be happy, always be grateful and always look at the bright side regardless of what we are actually experiencing and feeling.
Living a happy and joyful life does not mean denying, avoiding and belittling genuine pain.
Making peace with the fact that in life there is both light and shade and allowing yourself to experience and be guided by both allows for us to find comfort in all emotions. Listening and processing challenging emotions build resilience and perspective.

Katherine also shared some practical things to consider;
🌦When others show pain or share challenges your role is to empathize and validate rather than to “cheer them up”. Throwing phases out like you should be grateful or look at the positives isn’t the reason someone or yourself for that matter may need to share. Remember sometimes it feels good just to be listened too and heard.


🌈Allowing yourself to sit in uncomfortable and challenging feelings leads to growth and resilience. Being joyful and positive does not mean avoiding negative emotions at all costs. Negative emotions play a role in guiding us in life as much as positive emotions

☀️Gratitude is a powerful tool, It brings comfort and perspective however it doesn’t ‘cure’ challenges and pain.

I found Katherine’s tips provide a practical and refreshing approach to having conversations with ourselves and others.

You can find more about Katherine, and her mission to help women to find more joy in day to day life by taking control of the little things and creating space, time and energy for the big things on her website here HERE or following her tips mixed with a little fun and humor on Instagram

Have you experienced this yourself? Let me know your thoughts.

Rose x

Evolution and Growth

Evolution and Growth

I have lost myself about a million times, then realized I wasn’t losing myself at all.

I was simply shedding some parts of me I didn’t need anymore, parts of me that needed to go so that I had room to grow.

Some parts I didn’t lose at all, I had in fact become wiser, lived and learnt a little more than I once did. Those parts of me I thought I had lost had actually evolved.

Stepping into the next phase 33 weeks pregnant. Image Freckle in a Box Photography

I first became a daughter, then a sister, a friend, a lover and then a mother.

Along the journey of becoming a woman; learning to be all these things and so much more, unconsciously, slowly and silently I was growing, not only in age but within my soul.

There have been times I have questioned the timing of my life, compared it and wanting to rush to the next chapter way before I was even ready.

But there is no timeline for you better than the one you are on, no rush, no perfect place to be just because of age or a year. You are where you need to be.

It is not just children that are growing, we are too – so maybe when we feel we are losing ourselves we are actually changing, growing, healing and making room to be more.

Change is part of life.

We are constantly evolving.

We continue to grow everyday of our lives.

Life is messy, unique, scary, and beautiful all at the same time.

Its okay to feel you have lost yourself because when you find yourself again –

You will find yourself stronger and wiser, a higher version of yourself.

Be proud of her. She is done a lot of growing to get here.

Rose x

4 of my favourite Perth family friendly Cafes.

4 of my favourite Perth family friendly Cafes.

Coffee. The universal fuel for parents everywhere. Every parent needs a good cup of coffee and some good food that someone else has prepared. We also want to be able to eat and drink in a relaxing environment where we feel the kids are not only catered for, but are welcome and not going to get bored in under 5 minutes…

So with little ones in tow – where to go?

Luckily Perth is full of places that welcome us and our tiny humans in with open arms. Here are just four of the many Perth family friendly cafes and restaurants to try!

SISTAS BURNS BEACH

This is one of my personal favourites; Sistas at Burns Beach. Set right in front of one of our beautiful beaches – here you will not only find a kid and dog-friendly venue but great coffee, freshly pressed juices, babycinos and delicious food with the very hearty portions. Let us not forget the friendly, accommodating staff who will have you feeling like one of the locals in no time.

Sistas Burn Beach is the perfect place to have a coffee and bite to eat with the family and afterwards there is the option of heading to the beach, take the kids for a play at the huge park and playground right across the road or even go for a ride or walk on the coast path all in one location.

Maybe you’re a Dog parent? Well rest assure your furry children will also feel quite at home here, water bowls available and they even have doggy treats on the menu that can be ordered for your special furry family members.

Octavia and I, in front of the mural at Sistas Burns Beach Photo – Insta hubby Craig

Inside they also have a selection of indoor plants and gorgeous children’s clothing available to purchase. This is a busy Perth family friendly cafe and it is easy to see why!

Find Sistas Burns Beach Cafe on INSTAGRAM or on FACEBOOK

Address: 35 OCEAN PDE, Iluka Western Australia 6028

Opening Hours: 7:30 AM – 5:00 PM

Get this for family Sistas have a baby Sista – Lil’ Sistas Yanchep in the outer northern suburbs

Located: 99 Lindsay Boulevard, Yanchep, Wanneroo

ESPREZZO

Esprezzo cafe is located inside the complex at Noranda shopping complex and has been embraced the local community. Focusing on fresh healthy food, organic fair-trade coffee and tea and friendly, personal customer service.

The coffee is incredible so be sure to have a cup to go along with the cutest babycinos for your mini. There is also a little play area for kids with chalkboard, books and some toys, plenty of high chairs and a toilets/parent room just adjacent to the cafe. Between 8 am – 2 pm they have a Kid Menu available, including Kids bacon and Eggs, toasties, Kid friendly pressed juices and milkshakes.

Photo Esprezzo

Esprezzo check the website HERE or take a look at some of the amazing food and coffee on INSTAGRAM

Opening Hours: 8:00am – 5:00pm (Mon-Sat)

Kitchen closes at 2 pm (Cabinet food still available after this time)

Address: Noranda Village S/C, Benara Rd Noranda

ROAR BAR AND GRILL

At Roar Bar and Grill, you can tell this restaurant was created by parents for parents! Here they are passionate about having a space that is for the whole family to enjoy a good meal, relax and ensure everybody is entertained!

Photo Roar Bar & Grill

Not only do they have a delicious menu for both the kids and the parents, but the standout and point of difference is the amazing playground and shaded bouncing pillow. There is plenty of seating to keep a close eye on your little ones while you get to finish enjoying your meal in full, without ANY complaints of the kids being “bored”, if anything they won’t want to leave. Perth family friendly cafes at its finest!

Photo Roar Bar and Grill

With a relaxed, comfortable atmosphere and friendly service Roar Bar and Grill is worth a visit.

High Chairs and all parent/children facilities are available.

Located: 23 Port Kembla Dr, Bibra Lake WA 6163

Weekdays : Monday to Wednesday 7am to 3.30pm
Thursday to Friday 7am to 9pm

Weekends: Saturday 7am to 9pm
Sunday 7am to 9pm

Find them them online HERE or on Instagram

MASONMILL GARDENS

Masonmill Gardens is just an all-round beautiful place to visit with kids and family. The restaurant opens for breakfast and lunch till 4 pm with simple yet delicious favourites on the menu and options for Kids sized breakfasts and lunch. Alternatively, head down for tea or coffee and choose a piece of cake from their large selection before checking out all the activities you can do while here!

Masonmill Gardens has a playground which has a cubby house, rope ramp, stepping logs and slide. The play area is fully fenced off and protected by a safety gate that leads to an undercover patio area.

Masonmill Gardens playground. Photo Masonmill Gardens

While there definitely check out the Koi pond, which is fed from a natural underwater spring. You can even get a bag of Fish food from gift shop or main restaurant for $2.50 and feed the Koi fish!

The Koi Pond. Photo Masonmill Gardens

But there is still more! On the grounds across from the coffee shop there is MINI GOLF and bouncy castle which is free for the kids only haha

Mini Golf opening hours:

Saturday        9:00 pm – Last round at 3:30 pm
Sunday           9:00 pm – Last round at 3:30 pm

Prices

Adults (16 years +) $18
Children $12
Family (2 Adults 2 Children) $45

Check out Masonmill Gardens online HERE

Location: 40 Masonmill Road, Carmel WA 6076

The fear of starting something New.

The fear of starting something New.

Remember when you were first learning to drive?
Out of our comfort zone, but still equally excited to learn, you have both hands on the wheel, nervous to pull out into traffic, possibly scaring yourself and your driving instructor to death, not to mention the zillion attempts to parallel park… (actually that’s still me now haha)

Well, that’s like starting anything new, whether it’s becoming a parent, a new business/job, maybe its learning to dance or even hitting the gym for the first time ever.

It’s scary at first, it feels like you just might not be able to do it and geez it feels a little embarrassing when you make a mistake.
When you are on the journey to making your dreams a reality – there are going to be times you feel completely out of your depth, question yourself and occasionally take two steps forward and one step back.

But every day you are learning, practising and getting better.
With hard work, persistence, a little help and guidance along the way – your confidence will grow, your skills will improve and soon just like driving it won’t feel hard anymore, it will be second nature.

So NEVER give up.
Believe in yourself.
You can and will learn, and continue to improve- just keep on hustling!

You will get there – just like driving, fast forward to now, you’re cruising out of the driveway without a worry in the world, coffee to your side, music on, kids in the back and it just feels like second nature now, all except the parallel parking of course… but hey we do always have to keep learning along the way too.

Rose xo