Challenging the What Ifs? of my Body Image and confidence.

Challenging the What Ifs? of my Body Image and confidence.

Wearing a crop and Bike shorts out for the time time. A small action that felt empowering.

I CAN’T WEAR THAT…
I don’t have the body to wear that.
I’m too fat to wear that.
I like it on other people, but I couldn’t wear it.
I don’t have the confidence to wear that.
What if I’m judged, what if? What if? All the what if’s!

Turns out the only person that ever judged me the most was me, my opinion of myself bared the most weight, and it was one of the things that I needed to work on the most.

So it might seem small, but this was the first time I had ever worn a crop and shorts outside the house without a top on, I had always wanted to but all the “What if’s” had always stopped me – I had this belief of what my body ‘should look like to wear something like this.

This time I challenged those beliefs.

I don’t have the body to wear that – I have a body. Clothes are for bodies. I can wear that, and seriously what body was I waiting for?
I’m too fat to wear that – Firstly we have fat, we are not ‘fat’, and secondly, at no point in my life have I ever felt ‘thin enough’ apparently to wear what I wanted SO if not now then when?

I don’t have the confidence to wear that – I hadn’t tried. Confidence is something we learn, we can grow and get better at.

What if people….
What others think about me is something I have no control over and really none of my business, and if they judge well, it says more about them.

Really the only thing holding me back was ME. What if I tried it? What if I just embraced myself for once?
And so, I felt nervous at first, but as I pushed the pram along, I forgot about the rolls, the idea of perfection & embraced the sun on my skin.

I looked at my daughters and thought about how I would want this for them. Freedom in their minds about their body.
How I would tell them in a heartbeat to wear the damn thing and rock it with pride, not to care what anyone thinks and be kind to themselves.
It’s not brave, it’s not extreme confidence, but it was hard. For me, it’s getting out of my comfort zone and feeling freedom from my mind’s body demons.


I’m sharing so that just maybe you too can silence the what if’s and start to challenge your beliefs about yourself and your body too.

❤️ Rose

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Are you working on your own self-image and body acceptance? How are you going? What have been YOUR biggest wins?

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#worthyalways #morethanabody

Motherhood – the change, evolution and grief.

Motherhood – the change, evolution and grief.

The days feeling so detached from the person you once were – that you don’t know how to connect them back to the same person at all.
Motherhood changed me.

She has had to change. This change has nothing to do with the love I feel for my children – that love and time for them I give with all my heart and wouldn’t go back.
This change has everything to do with me, this time in my life where I feel like I’m living in some sort of purgatory, a place that’s in between,

In between who I used to be,
Who I currently am and
Who do I want to be?

In fleeting moments I think about it, but it’s not until I have had time to myself, the weight of the things I’d been holding in come flooding out.

I catch my reflection in the mirror and really look at this woman before me… I know I am her, but I don’t recognise her now. The tears silently flow down my cheeks.

But I let myself grieve this time, the isolation, independence, I miss my body, when did I stop caring about myself?
I am tired and feeling without direction; I let it all out in all its honesty, the things no one actually wants to say out loud…

It was relieving to even admit it to myself.
Who am I now?

Sometimes we don’t allow ourselves to grieve those parts of us that are gone because we are worried that it means we aren’t grateful.
But gratitude and grief can live as one.

I don’t quite recognise the woman in the mirror just yet, but I know her. She is currently processing and learning about herself again; she is evolving and figuring it out, all while giving so much of herself to raising her children.

I must give her some time, give her some grace.
After a while, I realised…
She isn’t lost at all… she’s just in a state of metamorphosis, just like a caterpillar before it becomes a butterfly – it’s somewhere in between.

It’s not going to be this way forever.

The old me hasn’t been through all the things I have now. She is stronger.

I let go of what was and am keeping focus on what is ahead.

Be kind to yourselves, mamas.

You are just evolving into something beautiful. 🦋

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