Anxiety – Acknowledging my Anxiety and knowing you can overcome it.

Anxiety – Acknowledging my Anxiety and knowing you can overcome it.

Rose Oates – Image Lalu Photo

Suddenly I’m feeling alert, too alert, The tightening of the chest, the shortness in my breath, the trembling of the hands, my body feels at unease, all while my mind is racing fast with 1000 thoughts, the nasty little inner dialogue has crept in, BREATHE I remind myself, you are ok, you are safe – just take a second to just breathe.

For me anxiety is something that I have struggled with for a long time, not always understood and was once really embarrassed about.
I NEVER acknowledged it let alone talked about it, I did not want to be perceived as weak or incapable.

So in turn I pushed those feeling aside and pushed harder filling my days with things to do, tasks to accomplish simply so I could feel LESS – but it what it did was fuel my anxiety MORE until I could not ignore it no more – it wasn’t going to let me ignore it any longer, I experienced my first a full blown panic attack a few years ago, it was out of the blue, on a warm sunny day while I was happily singing in the car to my favourite song – I felt like I couldn’t breathe, my heart was pounding, I thought I was dying, having a heart attack.

From then on I knew it needed my attention. I owed it to myself to help myself, to own what it was, to learn to manage it and to take back my POWER.

With time and using various techniques I have learnt to manage it, speaking to someone to learn more about it has helped and I know now I can work through it, and so I no longer bottled it up. I’m not completely free of it but now I am much more aware of the triggers and the things or situations that can cause it to rear its ugly head.

The ocean calms my soul. Image @laluphoto_perth

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, she turned into a butterfly.”

Today I acknowledge it, admitting how much it has been eating me up lately hiding behind my smile, trying to tell me I’m not enough, that I can’t do it all, that I’m not worthy.

I had a cry, it felt good to release it – I sat with the emotions and let them flow. It’s uncomfortable but worth it I promise.

It made me realize all the triggers id been ignoring, all the work I was doing, the underlying trauma still there that I don’t like dealing with and the direction I want to take next.

The speed of life can feel hectic at times, in this fast-paced world, social media constantly at our fingertips, life – its easy to get caught up – forgetting we are allowed to pause. Be still. Reevaluate. Take time to heal.

Anxiety is actually normal, it is hardwired into to us so it will never be something that will be completely gone forever, its useful and needed in life to save us from certain situations or dangers – but sometimes we hold on to it, not understanding exactly how to let the body and mind relax. Keeping that in mind we can learn to manage it, it is not something that we cannot learn to control.

Despite working on it – Some days are just plain tough and that’s okay, there are going to be days that you don’t have it completely under control but cut yourself some slack and don’t take it personally. Be gentle with yourself and try replace your negative thoughts with ones that are more positive.

Remember you are not alone in this – so many these days suffer from anxiety, seek support from others when you need it, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Reaching out shows strength and also demonstrates bravery for speaking out.

I don’t have the answers, it may be something I’ll always work on, but I do know this; we are not our anxiety. I’m not alone in it and neither are you.

Take one day at a time.

Rose @roseoates_

#youarenotalone #itsokaynottobeokay

Don’t ever hesitate to reach out for help if you need it, either to a professional, friends or family. There are many resources you can access online and over the phone too.

Beyond Blue

Black Dog Institute –Anxiety Help and Support

Australian Psychological Society – Find a Psychologist

Find a social worker

If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help now, call triple zero (000).

You can also call  Lifeline  on 13 11 14 — 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

The Fourth Trimester; things I discovered that nobody decided to tell me. The good, bad and funny.

The Fourth Trimester; things I discovered that nobody decided to tell me. The good, bad and funny.

Cranky Esmé and I in the first few weeks. Image @foxandwildling_photography

Tears, milk, poops and smiles have been had by both my baby Esmé and myself.

Although I’ll forever be amazed by what our bodies go through to create a life and the power of a person through the journey of motherhood, there are still some bat shit crazy times in the months following your baby birth. Some things that we have all read about and totally expect and then other things that you don’t hear about all so much!!

This is my fourth season postpartum and I’m still getting surprised, these are some of the things I’ve experienced following my babies, that nobody really told me would happen…

  • Nappies – your baby isn’t the only one that will be wearing them. No shame in it either, having worn pads before trust me these adult nappies are the way to go… build for comfort not style haha
  • Some days you will fall in love with your partner all over again and other times you will want to rip them a new one.
  • Love at first sight – is NOT always the case it can days or weeks even to grow and bond together with your baby. The love is no less.
  • Your hair will malt like a Husky in the summertime, hairballs clogging the shower drain, leaving you wondering if it will grow back or there will be hell toupee.
  • Waking up WET… not in a good way either, whether it be night sweats, baby vomit or lying in a pool of your own breast milk.
  • Baby wipes – where have they been all our lives?! The all-purpose wet cloth for butts, quick all over body cleanse, sticky fingers, cleaning tables and dusting everything.
  • Your body may become a bit of a stranger to you, someone you don’t recognize in the mirror just quite yet, it might take time to learn to love it and that’s ok – at times you also look at it in complete awe of what it has done. 
  • You will think about poo ALOT – yes, your babies BUT the first one primarily being your own.
  • Sex – with hormones still raging, you either can’t wait to jump back at it or you are completely dead scared to let anything near your vagina.
  • The nipples – darkening and increasing in size, I heard it’s so the baby can see them… Well, mine are like big pieces of Hungarian salami so if she can’t see these somethings wrong!
  • There will be days when you feeling utterly alone and isolated by your newborn bubble, days morphing into one another, longing for a little freedom.
  • There are going to be days that test you and your mental health.
  • Baby outfits with buttons – cute at first but at 3 am, 17 buttons aren’t so cute anymore.
  • Sleep when the baby sleeps advice… well when the baby finally sleeps – you will probably scroll the whole internet, shower or do the washing.
  • You will say and do stupid stuff while tired. Bring on the coffee

Trust me mamas you are never alone.

There are 100’s of beautiful moments too (like the cute little grin on E’s face)

3 months postpartum and 3 months old! Yay!

What did you discover in the fourth trimester that no-one told you about?

Did you experience any of these? Or something completely different that surprised you?
Please add to the list!

Baby Sleep Consultant – Our journey to getting a good night’s sleep.

Baby Sleep Consultant – Our journey to getting a good night’s sleep.

Butter wouldn’t melt right!? Octavia Knight 2 weeks old. Photo La lu Photo

Sleep. Something I took for granted and should have appreciated in my pre-motherhood days way more than I did.

My husband and I had our third daughter Octavia in September last year. I was that person that had two other children that had just naturally slept well through the night.

So having my third baby, I naively assumed Octavia would be the same – oh how wrong I was.

By nearly six months, Octavia was still waking every 2 hours or more during the night and only catnapping during the day.

Sleep deprivation was once used as a form of torture, so why was this miniature human torturing me?
Her naps barely gave me the time to run around to do a few chores and make a cup of coffee.
I was exhausted every day, and the fatigue was becoming overwhelming.

I spent the little time my baby was sleeping wondering what I was doing wrong.

What did sleep felt like again? I was drinking all the coffee, wishing my husband was capable of breastfeeding and googling “how to get my baby to sleep”.

One late night scrolling through Instagram for the thirtieth time, I found the account that would save my sanity and help give both Octavia and I the sleep we both desperately needed.
I had stumbled across Hayley from Slumber and Sprout.

In the newborn love bubble – tired but bursting with love. Photo Lalu photo

Hayley is a fellow Perth mum, certified paediatric sleep consultant and owner of Slumber and Sprout. She provides easy to follow tips, an abundance of advice on her socials. She offers a variety of packages to help get your little ones sleeping soundly through the night and napping well through the day.
I learnt so many new things about babies and sleep; for example, how much day sleep our bubbas actually need

  • 3 months: 4 – 5 hours
  • 6-7 months: 3.5 – 4 hours
  • 9-11 months: 3 – 3.5 hours
  • 12 months: 2.5 -3 hours
  • 18-24 months: 2 – 2.5 hours
  • 3 years: 1 hour

Our little humans will also go through FIVE sleep regressions by the age of two. At four months, 8-10 months, 12 months, 18 months and 24 months!

How did it work?

I started by explaining my babies current sleep situation, and Hayley devised a plan to set up healthy sleep habits and resolve the sleep issues, based personally on our family.
It is not a one size fits all approach which I loved, because as a mum of older children, Octavia’s sleep needed to work around school runs and other extracurricular activities.
I had access to a private portal online to log all of Octavia’s sleep and activity throughout the day. Hayley closely monitored her progress and made suggestions accordingly.

With just the simplest of changes within two weeks, Octavia was napping during the day like a champ!
Soon Octavia went from waking every two hours and only cap napping, to now waking only once a night and having solid naps during the day.
In turn, Craig and I stopped feeling like coffee-fuelled zombies every day, and the whole mood of the household lightened.

I found it hard to ask for help at first, but I’m so happy I did. It doesn’t matter if you are a first-time mum or you are a mum of many, each child is different, so there is no shame in getting some help and support if you need it, especially when it comes to getting a good nights sleep!

Need some help getting your little one sleeping too?

Hayley provides a range of packages and services including in-home sleep consultations here in Perth

You can find out more about these services on her website HERE

Or follow Hayley and Katie on Instagram for daily tips and advice @slumberandsprout

Indi and Scarlett gushing over their new sister. Photo La Lu Photo
Having my Placenta Encapsulated

Having my Placenta Encapsulated

On having my Placenta Encapsulated…
This is the first time I’ve had my placenta encapsulated and I have been asked a lot of questions about it, so I thought I would share my experience.

When I had Indianna – our first child, I was young, nervous and really uneducated on all things birth and recovery… I had never heard of so many things birth related let alone eating your placenta! But third time around, 11 years on and (a little) wiser, I wanted to be more educated and have a more positive experience both for the birth of my child and during my postpartum days to follow.


The first 3 months after baby have been referred to as the 4th Trimester and I can totally understand why… it’s the time after birth that you and your body are working hard – Firstly adjusting to a new way of life with a newborn, all while your body is recovering, regulating hormones, working on producing milk and with little sleep so you can get on with caring and nourishing your newborn straight away.

I had really low iron the whole pregnancy and Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), which was mentally and physically draining, so it was my aim to feel as good as I possibly could after having my baby. Craig and I did our research and saw the benefits of encapsulation.

We found local Perth company @pureplacentas and they have been absolutely amazing! They pick up your placenta after birth from hospital or home and safely transport it in temperature monitored esky. I had my pills personally delivered to me in hospital the next afternoon.

Mel and the team are personal, informative and stay in touch during the weeks to follow the birth to provide any information about your pills and well being.

The benefits for me personally have definitely been noticed. My milk came in faster and in huge supply, I haven’t had mood swings – in fact I have felt remarkably calm and my energy levels – considering I’ve got a large family and running on little sleep have been noticeably better then before.

Iron stores drop naturally after birth and I was already struggling with low iron due to pregnancy and being coeliac but the placenta is rich in easily absorbed natural iron. I’ve since had my iron levels tested and the results are better then they have been in a long time and I’ve felt so much better. After the birth of my first two daughters, I lost a lot of hair but this time it’s stayed thick, fluffy and shiny! BONUS!

Personally written card with information about my Placenta health and special features.


This is my personal experience with Placenta encapsulation, I would definitely do it again in the future (if I had another baby) I don’t take any other vitamins and I didn’t have to mention who did my encapsulation but I was so impressed by my experience and this family run business that I chose to share it ❤️

Rose x

For more information check out Pure Placentas and Midwife Mel here https://pureplacentas.com.au/

Perth Now also wrote an article on encapsulation HERE

Aside

Octavia – Postpartum days, The first week

Nearly a week old and it’s gone so fast, like complete blur…

The memories of how to be a mum to a newborn again are finally coming back to me but learning so many new things as she’s her own person and my body is definitely feeling and reacting much differently compared to nearly 9 years ago when I had Scarlett!!
🍈🍈 The melons are nearly my biggest hurdle as usual they have expanded to epic proportions for me and have in turn ruled out most pretty maternity bras hahaha (I love how they are modelled mostly on smaller busts 😂)

Any great maternity bra recommendations please hit me up!! Sleep – “what dat?” Indi told me she thinks little O is nocturnal, as she is not much of a sleeper but I hoping and praying that will change in the coming weeks.

My head feels a whirlwind of emotions and I honestly haven’t had a chance to really process the world around me just yet, I’m simply in a newborn love bubble. My body is puffy and sore but at this point its actually the last thing on my mind. Its all about her, that newborn smell is like a drug and I’m taking it all in. 

I’m a bridesmaid tomorrow with my other girls as flower girls, my gorgeous friend has carefully catered for our family to be there, she is the most relaxed bride you could ever meet. So totally relaxed that even when I tried my dress on and my huge boobs were out and proud for all to see, she was like “No probs! I’ll get you a wrap or a new dress!” Bek you are the best bride ever!

Wish me luck, I know we will make it happen but I probably need to get totally prepped today just to be sure!

Also thanks to all the beautiful messages and laughs you have sent through on socials, it’s honestly so awesome and means a lot during this emotion filled week 😘
It will be baby spam over here for a while so Love me or leave me 😝❤️

Rose x

 

Top Photo – Rose Oates 

Below images – https://laluphoto.com.au/

Gorgeous moses basket fitted sheet – Tilly and Otto

I’m Here – Zilvi