I CAN’T WEAR THAT…
I don’t have the body to wear that.
I’m too fat to wear that.
I like it on other people, but I couldn’t wear it.
I don’t have the confidence to wear that.
What if I’m judged, what if? What if? All the what if’s!
Turns out the only person that ever judged me the most was me, my opinion of myself bared the most weight, and it was one of the things that I needed to work on the most.
So it might seem small, but this was the first time I had ever worn a crop and shorts outside the house without a top on, I had always wanted to but all the “What if’s” had always stopped me – I had this belief of what my body ‘should look like to wear something like this.
This time I challenged those beliefs.
I don’t have the body to wear that – I have a body. Clothes are for bodies. I can wear that, and seriously what body was I waiting for?
I’m too fat to wear that – Firstly we have fat, we are not ‘fat’, and secondly, at no point in my life have I ever felt ‘thin enough’ apparently to wear what I wanted SO if not now then when?
I don’t have the confidence to wear that – I hadn’t tried. Confidence is something we learn, we can grow and get better at.
What if people….
What others think about me is something I have no control over and really none of my business, and if they judge well, it says more about them.
Really the only thing holding me back was ME. What if I tried it? What if I just embraced myself for once?
And so, I felt nervous at first, but as I pushed the pram along, I forgot about the rolls, the idea of perfection & embraced the sun on my skin.
I looked at my daughters and thought about how I would want this for them. Freedom in their minds about their body.
How I would tell them in a heartbeat to wear the damn thing and rock it with pride, not to care what anyone thinks and be kind to themselves.
It’s not brave, it’s not extreme confidence, but it was hard. For me, it’s getting out of my comfort zone and feeling freedom from my mind’s body demons.
I’m sharing so that just maybe you too can silence the what if’s and start to challenge your beliefs about yourself and your body too.
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Are you working on your own self-image and body acceptance? How are you going? What have been YOUR biggest wins?