I CAN’T WEAR THAT… I don’t have the body to wear that. I’m too fat to wear that. I like it on other people, but I couldn’t wear it. I don’t have the confidence to wear that. What if I’m judged, what if? What if? All the what if’s!
Turns out the only person that ever judged me the most was me, my opinion of myself bared the most weight, and it was one of the things that I needed to work on the most.
So it might seem small, but this was the first time I had ever worn a crop and shorts outside the house without a top on, I had always wanted to but all the “What if’s” had always stopped me – I had this belief of what my body ‘should look like to wear something like this.
This time I challenged those beliefs.
I don’t have the body to wear that – I have a body. Clothes are for bodies. I can wear that, and seriously what body was I waiting for? I’m too fat to wear that – Firstly we have fat, we are not ‘fat’, and secondly, at no point in my life have I ever felt ‘thin enough’ apparently to wear what I wanted SO if not now then when?
I don’t have the confidence to wear that – I hadn’t tried. Confidence is something we learn, we can grow and get better at.
What if people…. What others think about me is something I have no control over and really none of my business, and if they judge well, it says more about them.
Really the only thing holding me back was ME. What if I tried it? What if I just embraced myself for once? And so, I felt nervous at first, but as I pushed the pram along, I forgot about the rolls, the idea of perfection & embraced the sun on my skin.
I looked at my daughters and thought about how I would want this for them. Freedom in their minds about their body. How I would tell them in a heartbeat to wear the damn thing and rock it with pride, not to care what anyone thinks and be kind to themselves. It’s not brave, it’s not extreme confidence, but it was hard. For me, it’s getting out of my comfort zone and feeling freedom from my mind’s body demons.
I’m sharing so that just maybe you too can silence the what if’s and start to challenge your beliefs about yourself and your body too.
For more body image/ acceptance, fun times, stories of my every day or just to connect with me directly join me over on Instagram HERE
Are you working on your own self-image and body acceptance? How are you going? What have been YOUR biggest wins?
F*c k perfection. I had to let go of the idea of perfection. Let go of the idea of a perfect body because there isn’t one – there are just ALL bodies, all normal, all unique masterpieces.
All at different stages of LIFE. And I want to see more of them. I wish I had seen more of them growing up. I want to see different bodies represented and seen.
Somedays I celebrate all I see, some days I struggle, feeling shame in my reflection, but I say let our struggles transform us – for the better. Especially if you are reading this now, know that it’s totally normal to have good and bad moments.
Moments of learning and unlearning too.
Here’s the thing. The journey to self-love is not linear but worth it, the work on yourself never ends… Because we are constantly growing AND lives forever changing, it’s something we will always need to do. Don’t be afraid to own your mistakes and be vulnerable. There is strength in vulnerability. So here I am, stretch marks, loose skin, hemorrhoids, the odd chin hair, cellulite, and all! Vulnerable and imperfect in all its glory.
My body has been through so much, so much pain, so much joy. It has created life and survived so many things. I’m learning to look at her, take her in, accept her, learn to feel sexy and know I can still want to improve but out of love for her not out of hate. I suppose in its simplest form I’m here to remind you aren’t alone. To remind you that some days feel harder than others.
That it’s ok to be both proud of your body and still have days of struggle. That on those days you are still important, worthy and beautiful as you are right now. Even if you don’t feel it, even when you don’t recognize the person staring at you in the mirror, even on the day you can’t see it. Self-love isn’t some destination it’s something we practice.
So, start now, start small towards that person you want to be, that person you really are. Make the change. Unveil her. Because if nothing ever changes – nothing changes.
I realized healing starts with us first – cause only then we can show our kids and those around us and the generations to follow, that we are more than our bodies, that all bodies are normal and change the narrative.
The future isn’t a place we are going. It’s a place we all get to create.
If this is something you struggle with I know too well how hard it can be where to even start but honestly it can start with the easiest of things like the way you talk to yourself every day. Treat yourself with the kindness you give to others.
We spend so much time on social media these days it’s just a part of life so, do a social media cleanout – unfollow any accounts that trigger you, that make you feel less than or that have you comparing yourself to. It doesn’t matter who they are or why, it’s just about consuming things that are good for your mind and mental health!
Follow some empowering body positive/ acceptance accounts if you need a daily reminder some I love are
After the news of our surprise fourth pregnancy, we were going to need a pram upgrade – one that could accommodate a newborn and an 18-month-old toddler.
Choosing a pram is not only important but also a pretty personal decision – I didn’t know where to start at first, but it all comes down to your needs for both you and your family. If you think about exactly how you want to use it and what you will need it most for helps with making the decision.
For me what was important was:
First and foremost is had to convert from single to double for both my newborn and toddler.
It needed to be lightweight and easy to fold.
To look good – hey I had to be honest here, I really wanted a sexy, stylish looking pram and why not?!
As a double I wanted something easy to maneuver and not too wide after all I have 4 girls in total and more often than not they hang by each side of the pram.
After testing out quite a few double prams in stores, we tried out the Redsbaby from a friend who had one – we went with The Redsbaby Jive 3 Platinum in the Glacier Grey which is available as a single with the option to buy the second seat conversion kit to convert your pram into a double.
The single pram comes with the bassinet, regular seat which is suitable for up to 20kgs, pram organiser, reversible seat liner, rain cover and the UPF50+ Sun & Sleep Shades.
The Second seat – Comes as an additional accessory kit that you buy if and when you need it. It comes with a second seat that accommodates up to 17kgs and the R+L upper adaptors and R+L lower adaptors.
Is it compatible with a Car Capsule? Yes.
I wanted to use a car capsule this time around to make things easier to pop Esme into the pram especially as active little Octavia was 18mths, so I like that the JIVE3 was compatible with Britax, Maxi-Cosi, Joie and Nuna capsules you just need the Redsbaby Capsule Adaptors, which I was able to hire from Amanda at Hire for Baby Joondalup (there are branches all over the country) with the capsule – I went with a Maxi-Cosi Capsule.
What it’s like to use and maneover…
It’s beautifully light-weight for a double pram and maneuverability is really good, I do long walks almost daily – its a super smooth ride (in the single-mode it’s a dream ride). It is easy to push and get around, even doing well on grass. The Jive 3 is pretty slim and compact in comparison to other doubles we road-tested and the weight seems well distributed with the two kids on board. Being a slimmer double means it has been so much easier to fit and move around especially in aisles at the shops, in busy areas or in a coffee shop.
The handle is adjustable, I’m 175cm / 5’9 so I found it adequate.
Harness easy to adjust and foot rest adjustable and decent length.
Its got a one-handed recline to get from upright to flat which is great.
The top seat can be parent facing too which I like. Its got a lot of different configurations for the seat but I feel that you will find a couple that you like and stick to them – so it’s handy but not something I’d fuss over.
Heaps of ventilation – can open up panels in canopy which is especially great for hot Aussie summers.
Puncture-proof wheels – like who would have time for a flat with two kids on board?!
Folding the pram in single and double.
The Redsbaby Jive 3 does fold up in single mode with the seat in place, which I love and it’s super easy. It clicks into place and is lightweight to pick up- pram as a single is only 8.5kgs.
When it’s in the double mode you do have to remove the top seat and adaptors before it can be folded down, so it does take a little longer. Once folded it’s pretty compact – which is what we needed to fit into our car and it still leaves us some boot space which other double prams wouldn’t allow.
I linked two folding videos below for the Jive 3 Platinum that I used from Redsbaby to check out for yourselves!
I cannot fault its overall quality, its so well made – our pram gets a right beating from the car to big long walks, baby spews, poos and food and so far so good, we have currently had it a year now, with regular use. It really is beautifully made and can be seen in all the details.
Thoughts and feelings overall…
So last but not least its a damn good looking pram, I get comments on it all the time. I know that’s not the MOST important thing but I really wanted a sexy pram this last time around! Superficial yes but the truth haha! BUT this pram is also practical, glides easily and the fact it looks good too – bonus.
I can’t fault much but when the pram is just in single mode the basket is large but when the second seat is in – it does take up most of the basket space at the bottom, so there isn’t heaps of room to carry heaps of extra stuff. It does come with the caddy, drink cup holder and a pocket on the back of the top seat so that help but its not loads of space. It doesn’t really bother me that much as I don’t tend to carry loads of stuff with me – it’s like the more kids I had the less I knew I really needed – but everyone is different.
The top seat fully reclines flat if need be but the bottom seat doesn’t, its on a slight recline but to be honest Octavia has still often napped comfortably in her seat on the bottom but I wanted to point that out.
So all in all, I love my Redsbaby pram. I love it as a single and it would make a great first pram – looks great, comes with so much included for the price and the fact that it can convert to a double, when you are ready to grow as your family does it a huge bonus!
Truth be told I was more fussy about a pram when I had my first child than with my fourth… I think I just became more relaxed in general knowing that you really don’t need unnecessary bells and whistles and that you rarely use everything like I once ‘thought’ I would.
If there is anything else I could include or questions I could answer let me know here or hit me up in my DMS on Instagram over at @roseoates_
Not all playroom rooms can be created equal with good reason! Every family is different, with children that learn individually and spaces that will differ from house to house. That doesn’t mean you cannot create a space that not only encourages play and imagination but works with your home, budget and compliment your style too.
When I created this space in my mind I wanted it to be simple, still fit in with the overall aesthetic of our home, be easy to keep tidy and did not cost an absolute fortune to put together. It needed to grow with the kids AND as much as I love looking at play spaces with everything on display it wasn’t for me as they only stay tidy for minutes – I don’t want to see the mess, so it meant cupboards with doors for me haha.
I drew up a rough sketch of what I had in mind and went through the existing toys, games and craft supplies BEFORE buying anything first. I culled broken toys they didn’t ever play with.
FIND YOUR THEME – Search the net, Pinterest, Instagram for inspiration and ideas of the look you want to achieve. Think about what your home looks like, the existing furniture and toys you want to keep and tie in. Consider whether you want the playroom to fit in with your home’s overall look or if you are happy to create a themed wonderland specifically designed around the kids.
DECLUTTER – Go through the kids existing toys, games, craft, books and supplies BEFORE buying anything first. You don’t want to have to create space and storage for things they don’t use or like. I culled broken toys and donated toys they grew out of or never played with anymore. If they are old enough even get them involved in the process – they know what they love .
MEASURE – Measure everything! Measure the room or the space you are working with, this is really important for especially if you need to buy any furniture or storage. Once I decluttered I knew what I had to work with and store , so knowing my room dimensions made it easier to find a unit or cabinet that would fit the wall and our needs. Dont forget to measure shelving / cupboard spaces before you run out and buy containers and storage items, the last thing you want is to come home only to find they dont fit or work in the space.
These are the EKET cabinets from @ikea_australia that I used. There is 4 cabinets each with 2 doors and 1 shelf, 70x35x70 cm which I placed side by side and cost $115 each.
On a tighter budget? I have found some gems on Facebook Marketplace, gumtree and even the odd verge collection find – for little or free! I love a bargain! Might just need a lick of paint to give it new life!
I went with Ikea cabinets as they were more affordable to achieve a custom look/fit for the room plus kids are hard on stuff and especially while they are younger I didn’t want to spend a fortune on furniture – that will definitely cop a hit or a 1000!
Our walls were bad, couldn’t even handle blu tack without peeling so Craig and my brother Dario put up @easycraft.panels from Bunnings. I love the look they give and they also are harder wearing than the bare walls especially for a kids space – not to mention they can take hits and don’t chip.
We didn’t do this all overnight, it started with the walls first and slowly I added pieces bit by bit. The walls were the most expensive part of this room but definitely worth it for us – as one day it won’t always be the ‘playroom’ and probably end up a teen retreat instead.
Pregnancy felt long yet the 9 months of your growing earthside seemed to fly both equally fast and, in some parts, so very painfully slow.
When I birthed her into this world, I had no idea I also would be totally re-born. It’s beautiful, powerful, confusing, and painful. All the different emotions manage to surge within you seemingly at the same time.
We nurture, care, and raise our children all while trying to understand and care for ourselves in the moments we have left.
I have struggled this postpartum, hit the lowest of lows, I look back at that photo on the left and remember the pain, but I also look at it with a fondness; I am soft, vulnerable, lost but also happy, proud and in awe of this beautiful human being that laid next to me who only a mere week before was inside of me.
9 months of Growth for us both.
9 months on and I haven’t bounced back… I never intended to, my life and body are only going one way and that’s forward.
My body is still soft – but there is STRENGTH in that softness, to grow a life my body had to make room, to stretch and grow – it is soft because it needed to have the strength to support life itself.
9 months on I’m still vulnerable – But I no longer see it as weakness, it is a sign of strength, courage, and bravery.
I have learnt to lean into it. Being vulnerable is raw and truthful – there is no hiding in it, it has taught me to listen to myself, connect and more than ever authentically live my truth.
9 months on and life has gotten clearer – the pain has gone, it’s still messy, confusing, exhausting and at times stinky.
9 months on and we have both grown and gotten stronger.
9 months on my darling baby girl has taught me so much in her short time, I’m sure she will continue to teach me for the rest of my life.
9 months on writing this I have tears streaming down my face thinking about it all and of my darling daughter.
9 months ago as you were born… Cover me in sunshine played softly in the background. And that you have – done every day of your life. I love you.
Esme Phoenix. And just like the Phoenix, I have been re-birthed into the truest version of me.
Where ever you are postpartum or in motherhood – Be proud of your growth and know that you aren’t in this alone.