5 Ways to say NO so you can say YES to yourself.

5 Ways to say NO so you can say YES to yourself.

This week has been tough, literally no sleep for this Mama – I’m currently wishing my eye bags were designer ones haha.

So lack of sleep coupled with juggling the other kids, writing, scrubbing muddy softball uniforms and a list of engagements that I had taken on, it was safe to say I was not only run down physically but mentally as well.

Octavia playing in her fresh and clean room. Photo Rose Oates

I had kept saying YES to everything, I hate letting people down but in turn I was letting myself down and my family was ending up with a tired, grumpy mama and wife.

By saying NO to others when you need to, it’s like saying YES to yourself.

How often do we say yes to all the invites, to the extra shift at work, to baking the cupcakes for the school sale and putting pressure on ourself to do all the things?

It honestly can be so hard to say NO but if you don’t sometimes you aren’t allowing yourself to say YES to things you need for yourself.

Here are some ways to say no to others and start saying YES to yourself:
  1. Decline Invitations. Start by politely declining any invites to things that you cannot fit in or simply don’t want to go to.

2. Be honest – Don’t feel as if you need to make an excuse just to say No. If you are exhausted just say it how it is: people appreciate honesty over an excuse.

3. Schedule yourself in.
Pop yourself in the diary like for example I go to yoga on a Wednesday at 6:30pm, so if something comes up, I work around it NOT cancel it.

Treat it as an important appointment for yourself.

4. Let go of the GUILT. This can be hard but by saying yes to everything you ultimately will be sacrificing something – that might time with your own family or actually running yourself down mentally and physically.
So let go of the guilt. People that love and care about you won’t want you to feel guilty anyway.

5. Say YES to the things that matter. When you do say YES, do it for things that really matter to you, say yes when you know you can complete the tasks without draining yourself completely and do it with your heart.

Hope you say YES to the things you want more often by being less busy because you have said No when you need to.

So this past week I let go of the guilt and said NO cleaning, especially as we had just finished painting the week before and said YES to the offer from Fantastic Services to collaborate. So this meant getting the awesome team from Fantastic Services to come and do a full Spring clean, which after all the sanding and painting was something we really needed.

One of the lovely Fantastic Services staff in the playroom.

The team gave the house a full Spring clean while I chilled out, drank my coffee while it was still hot, got some work done AND Octavia slept the whole time!! She loves the sound of the vacuum!

If you want a break and a clean house you can use my code: justyouraveragerose for $20 credit towards your first clean or service with Fantasic services! You can check out their services HERE #jyarcollab

Modi Bodi Review Period and Pee proof Underwear – All the details.

Modi Bodi Review Period and Pee proof Underwear – All the details.

wearing Modi Bodi - the sensual hi-waist bikini in the light to mo

Period Underwear. While I’d seen and heard about them, I never actually given them a go. I mainly worn tampons and didn’t like the feeling of a pad – plus they always irritated my skin. I was extremely skeptical, so many questions I wanted to know like, will they leak? Would they smell, would I feel wet or can they really be a total replacement for disposable feminine products?

So being curious about them I gave them a go.

I received these three pairs from Modi Bodi. I got a moderate to heavy pair, a heavy to overnight pair and one pair of light to moderate for the end of my cycles and spotting. I decided I would wash them daily to try them out first, before buying any extra pairs.

DID THEY WORK?

Its a YES from me! I not only tested them out during the week of my period but I tried them out while exercising, skipping and bouncing on the trampoline with the kids. I promise you after having three kids, its not uncommon for me to experience bladder leaks and I have had my fair share especially when laughing really hard. So I’m happy to report Modi Bodi passed with flying colours.

What I also love is that there are more than one choice of underwear style in each different absorbency level.

I also wanted protection from pee leaks while exercising… so here I am giving them a go on the trampoline.

So how do they feel on?

Honestly, just like regular underwear, they are surprisingly slim, not bulky or thick. The overnight pairs have extra lining right to the back, but not bulky at all. It’s not like wearing a pad; you don’t feel wet or uncomfortable; it does feel just like regular underwear. The fabrics on all three pairs were soft and comfortable on the skin.

OVERNIGHT WEAR – the verdict

The first pair of Modi Bodi I ever wore was to bed; they were the Classic full Brief for Heavy-Overnight. Personally for me – I like that these are a larger brief, especially for sleeping in. The thin lining protects you to the back of the underwear. Now I’m a lover of white sheets and bedding, AND I move a lot during my sleep, so this would be a good test. They were secure and so comfortable to sleep in that I woke up and had forgotten I had my period at first; I felt dry, I was comfortable; I checked the bed – clean. No leaks! I was impressed, a total game-changer for overnight.

DOWN TO THE NITTY GRITTY – The questions I wanted answered.

Did they smell have an odor? NO

Do they Stain? No they are stain resistant

Do you feel wet? NO

Could they totally replace pads and tampons altogether?

Yes, they absolutely could. Modi Bodi could either totally replace them altogether or be used in conjunction with them for extra protection.

How did they go after coughing or sneezing during your period?

This is a question I received on Instagram and from a few friends.

They held up just fine. They absorbed the extra liquid after the cough/squeeze and went back to feeling dry.

Would you feel confident wearing White while wearing them?

Well to be honest I’d be worried wearing white during my period even with a tampon, pad and underwear all on at the same time! haha! This underwear would be perfect to accompany a pad or tampon for even more protection from leaks. But in saying that I did wear just my Moderate-heavy seam free pair with my new pink pants and all was fine! Each to their own in this case I think!

But HOW exactly do they work?

I’ll leave this one up to the experts. See exactly how the technology all works HERE

How many pairs would I need?

This will depend on your individual flow, how often you change and intend to wash.

I wore a pair for over-night, changed into a new pair for during the day, lets just say 9-5 and then back into another pair for the night ahead. So basically 2 pairs – one for night and one for day wear. 3 pairs on a particular heavy day or if I went to the gym. I now have a total of 7 pairs of Modi Bodi which I find works for my flow, plus it allows for washing in-between.

I have three heavy-over-night pairs, three moderate-heavy pairs and 1 light to moderate pair. Most of mine are seam free styles so I don’t get any lines but I love the sensual hi-waist bikini style with the lace detail. It’s great for the confidence to wear a style that makes you feel good, and that also doubles as protection, especially during your period.

Washing and Changing. Easy to wash just rinse under cold water till water runs clear and then pop in the washing machine. If you need to change during the day while out, (I personally didn’t but just in case) put them in a wet bag.

What absorbency should I get?

Below I have popped the information for the each of the absorbency levels you can get. I found this really useful to help me decide what would be the best for me.

MODIFIER LIGHT-MODERATE ABSORBENCY

  • 10ml = 2 tampons or 2 teaspoons
  • For: Using alone on light-medium period days, as back up on heavy period days, for sneaky leaks and heavy discharge

MODIFIER MODERATE-HEAVY ABSORBENCY

  • 15ml = 2-3 tampons or 3 teaspoons
  • For: Using alone on heavy period days, overnight for protecting your white sheets or sneaky wee leaks and heavy discharge

MODIFIER HEAVY ABSORBENCY / OVERNIGHT

  • 20ml = 3-4 tampons or 4 teaspoons
  • For: Using alone on heavy period days, overnight for protecting your white sheets, or for those ‘I almost weed my pants’ leaks

My reasons to initially try Modi Bodi also came from the fact that I am a mother of three daughters, my eldest being 12 this year. I wanted to find a product, that would allow her to feel secure, save her from any leaks and be super easy to use especially when dealing with first periods and navigating through a new phase of growing up. I honestly wish I had these growing up and have bought Indi few pairs from the super cute teen range RED to pop in her toiletry bag for school or outings away from home.

Through trialling these period and pee proof underwear I have found that, Modi Bodi has been a total game changer for me. Periods, incontinence, sweating are all normal parts of life, I am so happy to have found a reusable and sustainable product that feels comfortable to sleep, work in and exercise in while giving me peace of mind.

I nervously do a full try, showing the fits of all my Modi Bodi underwear – these are saved in my Highlights on Instagram

To find more check out MODI BODI online HERE

Wearing the Sensual Hi-Waist Bikini

Full Disclosure. I decided to write about my experience with Modi Bodi. They gifted my first three pairs to try out. I can not talk about something I don’t believe in and asked if they require anything in return, as I need time to try things properly. This is where they got me, they said nothing but if you like them – we would love you to share your experience. No guideline or time frames, to me, this spoke volumes about the brand itself, and so I accepted. Since then I have bought four extra pairs to complete my collection, the sports shorts and some underwear from the teen range for my daughter.

The loss of two to get to YOU.

The loss of two to get to YOU.

O and I. Photo credit La Lu Photo

I cry for others, I feel a lot, sometimes it’s overwhelming, I hate seeing others hurting, but its a rare occurrence that I cry for myself.

Most of the time I withdraw and feel a sense of numbness.

Today I’m not well, feeling a little sorry for myself and am sitting listening to the big storm rolling in… I just fed Octavia and placed her down to sleep, I watched her for a moment and all of a sudden my heart hurt so badly that tears starting rolling down my face. I thought without the loss of the two babies before her, Octavia would not be here.

I had forgotten that hurt for a while, but just like that out of the blue, the band-aid had lifted.

I could not imagine life without this little human, I am so grateful for her but mind still drifted to the what if’s – its a strange thought.

I had remembered my second miscarriage in the emergency room, I was numb.

I remember laying in the maternity ward recovering after, listening to the newborn cries from the neighbouring rooms. My mind checked out. Numb.

No tears at all.

12 weeks of carrying her. I came home from the hospital feeling empty and alone. I sat on the couch leaning on Craig, I didn’t move. Then it came, I cried for what felt like whole day till my face was swollen and puffy. All the feelings, extreme anger, guilt because I had two girls already, guilt that others could have things worse than me, feeling my body had failed and feeling complete loneliness.

Then like a switch going off, I went back to the dry numbness – I didn’t cry anymore.

I felt the sadness, pain and pushed it away to a locked space inside where it sits and lets me process but I do not cry. This at times has led people to think I’m tough or that it doesn’t hurt, this is not so I just process differently.

Since then I’ve grown and learnt so much. Learnt Its ok to feel, it’s ok to cry and it’s ok not to cry because everyone reacts and copes differently.

It’s ok to be thankful for what you have and still be sad about what you have lost.

It’s ok to mourn, to remember, to speak about it & you do not need to feel guilty about any of it because life is not always a comfortable conversation or pretty picture.

And so today, as I looked at my beautiful baby girl, I shed a few tears for my babies that did not touch this Earth and that is ok too.

The Easiest Ice Cream Sandwich

The Easiest Ice Cream Sandwich

This is an oldie but a goodie. When I think about this recipe it brings back memories of my youth, big family gatherings and my Aunty, Zia Elle bringing out the mini ice cream sandwiches on special occasions. With a family full of sweet tooth’s both kids and adults would all be up scrambling to get a slice of this super simple dessert.

Its only has 3 main ingredients:

  • 600ml Whipping Cream
  • 400ml Sweetened condensed milk (1 can)
  • approx 1 ½ packets of Malt Biscuits

Now those are the main ingredients for the icecream itself but the extras…. well that is simply up to your taste and imagination.

Currently I have loads of Easter chocolate, so the kids helped crush it up and we used that but some other yummy options include: Cookies and cream using crushed Oreo pieces, mars bar and peanuts or a rocky road style. The combinations are endless.

Method:

Line a slice tray or long style container with baking paper or cling wrap. Place a layer of biscuits in the tin.

Whip all the cream in a large bowl and once done pour in the condensed milk and fold into the cream.

Then add chocolate (or your choice of extras) and fold this through the mixture.

Pour the mixture over the biscuits evenly and then top with the remaining biscuits in the same configuration as you placed them on the bottom.

Place in freezer overnight to set.

Once frozen, cut into sections and they are ready to serve!

Easy Gluten Free Choc Chip Cookies

Easy Gluten Free Choc Chip Cookies

These are my Mum’s classic choc chip cookies that I modified to be Gluten free. These cookies are easy to make, they are lighter and a little softer than the non gluten free recipe but just as tasty!

  • ¾ Cup butter
  • ½ Cup sugar
  • ¾ Cup brown sugar
  • 1 large Egg
  • 2 ½ cups Gluten Free plain flour
  • 250 grams Chocolate chips
  • 1 teaspoon Vanilla essence
  • 3 Tablespoons milk
  • 1 teaspoon Baking powder
  • Pinch of salt
  • Optional only – 1 cup of Walnuts

Method: Cream butter and white and brown sugars, then beat in the egg, vanilla and milk. Sift in flour with the baking powder and salt. Stir into the mixture. Then stir in the chocolate chips and nuts (nuts are optional)

Grease two teaspoons and place teaspoon size balls on to a tray lined with baking paper. Allow about 5 cms between cookies.

Bake in a pre-heated oven 170C fan forced oven for 10mins, depending on the size of your cookies. They should look a light golden brown colour once baked.

Time also depends on your personal taste: less time equals a softer cookie, longer a crunchier style cookie.

Loosen from tray with a spatula while still quite warm and cool on a baking rack. Store in an air-tight container. These cookies also freeze well!

These choc chip cookies can be made exactly the same with regular flour, just replace the Gluten free flour in the same quantity.

Makes about 40 cookies.

5 tips for making New Years resolutions you will actually keep.

5 tips for making New Years resolutions you will actually keep.

2020 a new decade, soon we will see many posts and photos reflecting on the year that was…

I love it. Love that we take a moment to reflect, reassess, to see where we can improve, what we want to change and where we want to go next in life.

“Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in two or three decades.”

Tony Robbins

There is something about the New Year that excites us, motivates us and gives us a feeling of a fresh start. It’s the time of year we reflect on what we have achieved. Sometimes its epic and some years you feel like you may not have done much at all. Take a moment to look back at your last decade, I guarantee that collectively all your hard work and achievements will be much easier to see.

To me, New Years resolutions are simply goals that we set at the start of the year. Most of us make them, even those who are cynical secretly wish for a better year to come than their last.

Resolution: noun: resolution; plural noun: resolutions

a firm decision to do or not to do something.

Where in the above definition does it say resolution – has to be completed in one year?

For the average Joe (or Rose) we have commitments, work, kids, sports, friends, family, and a social life. So our goals have to be factored in accordingly and allocated enough time to achieve. We need to plan that life may not necessarily go to plan – hence the saying “life happens”.

I’m setting goals this year that may take more than just 365 days to achieve which is totally fine and to be honest a lot more realistic!

At the end year of each year, during that limbo time after Christmas till New Years Eve, I look back at the year that was and think about the highs and lows, what I want to take with me into the future and the things that I will leave behind. From there I find it easier to establish new goals for the year ahead using the tips below.

5 tips for making resolutions that you will actually keep.

1. WRITE IT DOWN – It sounds so cliché but it’s not!

I urge you to do this, write it down, take a photo of it and keep it somewhere you can look at it when you need to.

Writing down your goals forces you to be clear about what you actually want to achieve. Being able to visually see them written means you can go back and look at them, thinking about everything in your mind can feel overwhelming but once written it really does simplify it all. Its like a list that you can tick off, marking your progress as you go – really who doesn’t love ticking things off a list – I know I do! Having the goal written down means the original vision cannot waver, it assures you stay true to yourself.

Ask yourself this. What is your goal? Why is this important to you?

Make it a SMART goal, we all learned this in school, didn’t we? I did and then completely forgot some of the important steps haha, so I’ve touched on them below to jog the memory.

  • Specific – Have a clear-cut goal, don’t be vague.
  • Measurable – you need something to show you are making progress, like mini-milestones along the way.
  • Attainable – Your goal can still be challenging yet reasonable to achieve, knowing the challenges will help you to figure out how to overcome them.
  • Realistic – How much do you want it? Is it truly important to you? If it’s not what makes you think you will have the drive to make it happen? 
  • Time-based – it still needs to have a time frame but a realistic one. Consider the actual time it will realistically take to get where you want to go. 

2. CONSISTENCY / HABITS

Make good habits for yourself, you have to make changes that will support your goal. It’s kind of like brushing your teeth, you have placed that action permanently into your life and routine, we don’t cancel brushing our teeth because we have an appointment.

Like for example if your goal is to get fitter – you might set aside 30 minutes a day for a walk, find a time and make it fit into your every day, that is your walk time – it is important to reaching your goal, so set other appointments or commitments around it.

Just stay consistent.

3. ACCOUNTABILITY

How will you stay on track? Keep yourself accountable?

Having a realistic timeline in place and setting mini-milestones along the way, these both work hand in hand.

By hitting each small milestone along your timeline, you know you are progressing in the right direction and it keeps you accountable to your end goal. If you don’t hit those targets it gives you a chance to reassess and find a new strategy so you can get back on track.

Get yourself an accountability buddy – now this should be someone who you feel comfortable with, that knows where it is you want to go, it’s someone to check in with, to talk to and give you plenty of encouragement but will kick your butt back on track when you need it.

This person/s could be anyone but needs to be right for the task, so that might mean a mentor at work, a professional in their field for eg: life coach, personal trainer or a trusted and supportive friend, relative or partner.

4. DON’T BE SCARED OF SETBACKS OR ASKING FOR HELP.

If we never fell over we wouldn’t have learned to get back up!

There will be hard times, insecurities, times where the motivation that you started with is now long gone. We will all encounter setbacks along the way, its more about how you react to them. Making mistakes is how we learn.

This is when you have to remember YOUR WHY, why you started in the first place and why it is so important to you. Go back and look at the goals you wrote down, take a moment to reset and clear your head. Don’t be too hard on yourself for stumbling along the road to success.

Don’t ever be too proud to ask for help! If you are struggling or need a hand on your journey, there is always someone that will be able to help. Go to a supportive friend or family member but keep in mind these people are not your only options. Reach out and find one of the many groups on a social platform like Facebook or Instagram that are aiming for the same things as you or finding and paying for a professional service is also a great option as they specialise in that area.

5. TREAT YO-SELF! CELEBRATE YOUR WINS

Now, this relates to tracking your goal, so when you hit those mini-milestones you originally set to stay focused they deserve to be rewarded! So TREAT YO-SELF on your wins! This will keep you motivated and celebrates your progress so far.

I need to point out that the reward should align with your end goal so for example, if your goal is running a marathon, with your first milestone being able to do 10kms nonstop – treating yourself to a massage works better than smashing an entire bucket of fried chicken as a reward.

As much as it feels good to get a pat on the back or support from other people, not everyone will understand your reasons or feel as passionately about your goals as you do, so you cannot solely rely on others for approval or validation. It’s important to remember to believe in yourself and be your own number one fan.

So at the beginning of this new decade BE BOLD and set BOLD goals knowing not everything needs to be crammed into one year.

This is just the BEGINNING, believe in yourself, your future is in your hands and in 2030, in just one decade – imagine the adventures you will have had and all the things you will have achieved!

So I truly wish you all the very best that life can offer you, may all your dreams become your reality.

Happy New Year,

Rose x

Having my Placenta Encapsulated

Having my Placenta Encapsulated

On having my Placenta Encapsulated…
This is the first time I’ve had my placenta encapsulated and I have been asked a lot of questions about it, so I thought I would share my experience.

When I had Indianna – our first child, I was young, nervous and really uneducated on all things birth and recovery… I had never heard of so many things birth related let alone eating your placenta! But third time around, 11 years on and (a little) wiser, I wanted to be more educated and have a more positive experience both for the birth of my child and during my postpartum days to follow.


The first 3 months after baby have been referred to as the 4th Trimester and I can totally understand why… it’s the time after birth that you and your body are working hard – Firstly adjusting to a new way of life with a newborn, all while your body is recovering, regulating hormones, working on producing milk and with little sleep so you can get on with caring and nourishing your newborn straight away.

I had really low iron the whole pregnancy and Hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), which was mentally and physically draining, so it was my aim to feel as good as I possibly could after having my baby. Craig and I did our research and saw the benefits of encapsulation.

We found local Perth company @pureplacentas and they have been absolutely amazing! They pick up your placenta after birth from hospital or home and safely transport it in temperature monitored esky. I had my pills personally delivered to me in hospital the next afternoon.

Mel and the team are personal, informative and stay in touch during the weeks to follow the birth to provide any information about your pills and well being.

The benefits for me personally have definitely been noticed. My milk came in faster and in huge supply, I haven’t had mood swings – in fact I have felt remarkably calm and my energy levels – considering I’ve got a large family and running on little sleep have been noticeably better then before.

Iron stores drop naturally after birth and I was already struggling with low iron due to pregnancy and being coeliac but the placenta is rich in easily absorbed natural iron. I’ve since had my iron levels tested and the results are better then they have been in a long time and I’ve felt so much better. After the birth of my first two daughters, I lost a lot of hair but this time it’s stayed thick, fluffy and shiny! BONUS!

Personally written card with information about my Placenta health and special features.


This is my personal experience with Placenta encapsulation, I would definitely do it again in the future (if I had another baby) I don’t take any other vitamins and I didn’t have to mention who did my encapsulation but I was so impressed by my experience and this family run business that I chose to share it ❤️

Rose x

For more information check out Pure Placentas and Midwife Mel here https://pureplacentas.com.au/

Perth Now also wrote an article on encapsulation HERE

Screen free activity for the Kids

Screen free activity for the Kids

Taking time out online and
getting the kids engaged in screen free, off-line play is so important, it’s easy to forget how much time they spend watching TV or playing on a device, especially when you are busy running around doing ALL THE THINGS. Activities that encourage screen free play don’t need to complicated or expensive, kids have amazing imaginations, so I’m making an effort to create fun activities for my kids in the most important playground in the world, our home!

We have the IKEA Pyssla beads and shape set and a very loved, worn Fabler Björn Teddy affectionately known in this household as `Boo Boo Ted’. Boo Boo Ted is well travelled and with his passport, has been with Scarlett on every holiday, spent countless hours being dressed up and celebrates his birthday in April each year.

With each item costing under $10 we have had hours of fun playing with these two simple toys.

With the Pyssla beads and shape set we decided to make Holiday decorations!

Holiday Decorations

1. Use the Pyssla Shape set the create a decoration using the colourful Pyssla beads.
2. Be sure to leave a gap/hole in the decoration for string to pass through to hang later.

3. When the kids (or your own 😉) design is ready, cover the beads with baking paper and iron over them with an iron set to medium warm/hot for a few seconds, so that the beads melt together.
4. Let the bead shape cool after ironing. Place it on a flat surface, so it does not bend.

5. Take your decoration and thread some string through the hole you left (don’t worry if you forgot a hole punch works too)
6. Lastly hang your decorations up!

These look cute on a tree or around the home!

Pyssla beads and shape set were kindly gifted from IKEA Australia.

For more play ideas, toys and inspiration check out the IKEA website HERE

Aside

Octavia – Postpartum days, The first week

Nearly a week old and it’s gone so fast, like complete blur…

The memories of how to be a mum to a newborn again are finally coming back to me but learning so many new things as she’s her own person and my body is definitely feeling and reacting much differently compared to nearly 9 years ago when I had Scarlett!!
🍈🍈 The melons are nearly my biggest hurdle as usual they have expanded to epic proportions for me and have in turn ruled out most pretty maternity bras hahaha (I love how they are modelled mostly on smaller busts 😂)

Any great maternity bra recommendations please hit me up!! Sleep – “what dat?” Indi told me she thinks little O is nocturnal, as she is not much of a sleeper but I hoping and praying that will change in the coming weeks.

My head feels a whirlwind of emotions and I honestly haven’t had a chance to really process the world around me just yet, I’m simply in a newborn love bubble. My body is puffy and sore but at this point its actually the last thing on my mind. Its all about her, that newborn smell is like a drug and I’m taking it all in. 

I’m a bridesmaid tomorrow with my other girls as flower girls, my gorgeous friend has carefully catered for our family to be there, she is the most relaxed bride you could ever meet. So totally relaxed that even when I tried my dress on and my huge boobs were out and proud for all to see, she was like “No probs! I’ll get you a wrap or a new dress!” Bek you are the best bride ever!

Wish me luck, I know we will make it happen but I probably need to get totally prepped today just to be sure!

Also thanks to all the beautiful messages and laughs you have sent through on socials, it’s honestly so awesome and means a lot during this emotion filled week 😘
It will be baby spam over here for a while so Love me or leave me 😝❤️

Rose x

 

Top Photo – Rose Oates 

Below images – https://laluphoto.com.au/

Gorgeous moses basket fitted sheet – Tilly and Otto

I’m Here – Zilvi