5 Ways to say NO so you can say YES to yourself.

5 Ways to say NO so you can say YES to yourself.

This week has been tough, literally no sleep for this Mama – I’m currently wishing my eye bags were designer ones haha.

So lack of sleep coupled with juggling the other kids, writing, scrubbing muddy softball uniforms and a list of engagements that I had taken on, it was safe to say I was not only run down physically but mentally as well.

Octavia playing in her fresh and clean room. Photo Rose Oates

I had kept saying YES to everything, I hate letting people down but in turn I was letting myself down and my family was ending up with a tired, grumpy mama and wife.

By saying NO to others when you need to, it’s like saying YES to yourself.

How often do we say yes to all the invites, to the extra shift at work, to baking the cupcakes for the school sale and putting pressure on ourself to do all the things?

It honestly can be so hard to say NO but if you don’t sometimes you aren’t allowing yourself to say YES to things you need for yourself.

Here are some ways to say no to others and start saying YES to yourself:
  1. Decline Invitations. Start by politely declining any invites to things that you cannot fit in or simply don’t want to go to.

2. Be honest – Don’t feel as if you need to make an excuse just to say No. If you are exhausted just say it how it is: people appreciate honesty over an excuse.

3. Schedule yourself in.
Pop yourself in the diary like for example I go to yoga on a Wednesday at 6:30pm, so if something comes up, I work around it NOT cancel it.

Treat it as an important appointment for yourself.

4. Let go of the GUILT. This can be hard but by saying yes to everything you ultimately will be sacrificing something – that might time with your own family or actually running yourself down mentally and physically.
So let go of the guilt. People that love and care about you won’t want you to feel guilty anyway.

5. Say YES to the things that matter. When you do say YES, do it for things that really matter to you, say yes when you know you can complete the tasks without draining yourself completely and do it with your heart.

Hope you say YES to the things you want more often by being less busy because you have said No when you need to.

So this past week I let go of the guilt and said NO cleaning, especially as we had just finished painting the week before and said YES to the offer from Fantastic Services to collaborate. So this meant getting the awesome team from Fantastic Services to come and do a full Spring clean, which after all the sanding and painting was something we really needed.

One of the lovely Fantastic Services staff in the playroom.

The team gave the house a full Spring clean while I chilled out, drank my coffee while it was still hot, got some work done AND Octavia slept the whole time!! She loves the sound of the vacuum!

If you want a break and a clean house you can use my code: justyouraveragerose for $20 credit towards your first clean or service with Fantasic services! You can check out their services HERE #jyarcollab

Easy Gluten Free Choc Chip Cookies

Easy Gluten Free Choc Chip Cookies

These are my Mum’s classic choc chip cookies that I modified to be Gluten free. These cookies are easy to make, they are lighter and a little softer than the non gluten free recipe but just as tasty!

  • ¾ Cup butter
  • ½ Cup sugar
  • ¾ Cup brown sugar
  • 1 large Egg
  • 2 ½ cups Gluten Free plain flour
  • 250 grams Chocolate chips
  • 1 teaspoon Vanilla essence
  • 3 Tablespoons milk
  • 1 teaspoon Baking powder
  • Pinch of salt
  • Optional only – 1 cup of Walnuts

Method: Cream butter and white and brown sugars, then beat in the egg, vanilla and milk. Sift in flour with the baking powder and salt. Stir into the mixture. Then stir in the chocolate chips and nuts (nuts are optional)

Grease two teaspoons and place teaspoon size balls on to a tray lined with baking paper. Allow about 5 cms between cookies.

Bake in a pre-heated oven 170C fan forced oven for 10mins, depending on the size of your cookies. They should look a light golden brown colour once baked.

Time also depends on your personal taste: less time equals a softer cookie, longer a crunchier style cookie.

Loosen from tray with a spatula while still quite warm and cool on a baking rack. Store in an air-tight container. These cookies also freeze well!

These choc chip cookies can be made exactly the same with regular flour, just replace the Gluten free flour in the same quantity.

Makes about 40 cookies.

5 tips for making New Years resolutions you will actually keep.

5 tips for making New Years resolutions you will actually keep.

2020 a new decade, soon we will see many posts and photos reflecting on the year that was…

I love it. Love that we take a moment to reflect, reassess, to see where we can improve, what we want to change and where we want to go next in life.

“Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in two or three decades.”

Tony Robbins

There is something about the New Year that excites us, motivates us and gives us a feeling of a fresh start. It’s the time of year we reflect on what we have achieved. Sometimes its epic and some years you feel like you may not have done much at all. Take a moment to look back at your last decade, I guarantee that collectively all your hard work and achievements will be much easier to see.

To me, New Years resolutions are simply goals that we set at the start of the year. Most of us make them, even those who are cynical secretly wish for a better year to come than their last.

Resolution: noun: resolution; plural noun: resolutions

a firm decision to do or not to do something.

Where in the above definition does it say resolution – has to be completed in one year?

For the average Joe (or Rose) we have commitments, work, kids, sports, friends, family, and a social life. So our goals have to be factored in accordingly and allocated enough time to achieve. We need to plan that life may not necessarily go to plan – hence the saying “life happens”.

I’m setting goals this year that may take more than just 365 days to achieve which is totally fine and to be honest a lot more realistic!

At the end year of each year, during that limbo time after Christmas till New Years Eve, I look back at the year that was and think about the highs and lows, what I want to take with me into the future and the things that I will leave behind. From there I find it easier to establish new goals for the year ahead using the tips below.

5 tips for making resolutions that you will actually keep.

1. WRITE IT DOWN – It sounds so cliché but it’s not!

I urge you to do this, write it down, take a photo of it and keep it somewhere you can look at it when you need to.

Writing down your goals forces you to be clear about what you actually want to achieve. Being able to visually see them written means you can go back and look at them, thinking about everything in your mind can feel overwhelming but once written it really does simplify it all. Its like a list that you can tick off, marking your progress as you go – really who doesn’t love ticking things off a list – I know I do! Having the goal written down means the original vision cannot waver, it assures you stay true to yourself.

Ask yourself this. What is your goal? Why is this important to you?

Make it a SMART goal, we all learned this in school, didn’t we? I did and then completely forgot some of the important steps haha, so I’ve touched on them below to jog the memory.

  • Specific – Have a clear-cut goal, don’t be vague.
  • Measurable – you need something to show you are making progress, like mini-milestones along the way.
  • Attainable – Your goal can still be challenging yet reasonable to achieve, knowing the challenges will help you to figure out how to overcome them.
  • Realistic – How much do you want it? Is it truly important to you? If it’s not what makes you think you will have the drive to make it happen? 
  • Time-based – it still needs to have a time frame but a realistic one. Consider the actual time it will realistically take to get where you want to go. 

2. CONSISTENCY / HABITS

Make good habits for yourself, you have to make changes that will support your goal. It’s kind of like brushing your teeth, you have placed that action permanently into your life and routine, we don’t cancel brushing our teeth because we have an appointment.

Like for example if your goal is to get fitter – you might set aside 30 minutes a day for a walk, find a time and make it fit into your every day, that is your walk time – it is important to reaching your goal, so set other appointments or commitments around it.

Just stay consistent.

3. ACCOUNTABILITY

How will you stay on track? Keep yourself accountable?

Having a realistic timeline in place and setting mini-milestones along the way, these both work hand in hand.

By hitting each small milestone along your timeline, you know you are progressing in the right direction and it keeps you accountable to your end goal. If you don’t hit those targets it gives you a chance to reassess and find a new strategy so you can get back on track.

Get yourself an accountability buddy – now this should be someone who you feel comfortable with, that knows where it is you want to go, it’s someone to check in with, to talk to and give you plenty of encouragement but will kick your butt back on track when you need it.

This person/s could be anyone but needs to be right for the task, so that might mean a mentor at work, a professional in their field for eg: life coach, personal trainer or a trusted and supportive friend, relative or partner.

4. DON’T BE SCARED OF SETBACKS OR ASKING FOR HELP.

If we never fell over we wouldn’t have learned to get back up!

There will be hard times, insecurities, times where the motivation that you started with is now long gone. We will all encounter setbacks along the way, its more about how you react to them. Making mistakes is how we learn.

This is when you have to remember YOUR WHY, why you started in the first place and why it is so important to you. Go back and look at the goals you wrote down, take a moment to reset and clear your head. Don’t be too hard on yourself for stumbling along the road to success.

Don’t ever be too proud to ask for help! If you are struggling or need a hand on your journey, there is always someone that will be able to help. Go to a supportive friend or family member but keep in mind these people are not your only options. Reach out and find one of the many groups on a social platform like Facebook or Instagram that are aiming for the same things as you or finding and paying for a professional service is also a great option as they specialise in that area.

5. TREAT YO-SELF! CELEBRATE YOUR WINS

Now, this relates to tracking your goal, so when you hit those mini-milestones you originally set to stay focused they deserve to be rewarded! So TREAT YO-SELF on your wins! This will keep you motivated and celebrates your progress so far.

I need to point out that the reward should align with your end goal so for example, if your goal is running a marathon, with your first milestone being able to do 10kms nonstop – treating yourself to a massage works better than smashing an entire bucket of fried chicken as a reward.

As much as it feels good to get a pat on the back or support from other people, not everyone will understand your reasons or feel as passionately about your goals as you do, so you cannot solely rely on others for approval or validation. It’s important to remember to believe in yourself and be your own number one fan.

So at the beginning of this new decade BE BOLD and set BOLD goals knowing not everything needs to be crammed into one year.

This is just the BEGINNING, believe in yourself, your future is in your hands and in 2030, in just one decade – imagine the adventures you will have had and all the things you will have achieved!

So I truly wish you all the very best that life can offer you, may all your dreams become your reality.

Happy New Year,

Rose x