Anxiety – Acknowledging my Anxiety and knowing you can overcome it.

Anxiety – Acknowledging my Anxiety and knowing you can overcome it.

Rose Oates – Image Lalu Photo

Suddenly I’m feeling alert, too alert, The tightening of the chest, the shortness in my breath, the trembling of the hands, my body feels at unease, all while my mind is racing fast with 1000 thoughts, the nasty little inner dialogue has crept in, BREATHE I remind myself, you are ok, you are safe – just take a second to just breathe.

For me anxiety is something that I have struggled with for a long time, not always understood and was once really embarrassed about.
I NEVER acknowledged it let alone talked about it, I did not want to be perceived as weak or incapable.

So in turn I pushed those feeling aside and pushed harder filling my days with things to do, tasks to accomplish simply so I could feel LESS – but it what it did was fuel my anxiety MORE until I could not ignore it no more – it wasn’t going to let me ignore it any longer, I experienced my first a full blown panic attack a few years ago, it was out of the blue, on a warm sunny day while I was happily singing in the car to my favourite song – I felt like I couldn’t breathe, my heart was pounding, I thought I was dying, having a heart attack.

From then on I knew it needed my attention. I owed it to myself to help myself, to own what it was, to learn to manage it and to take back my POWER.

With time and using various techniques I have learnt to manage it, speaking to someone to learn more about it has helped and I know now I can work through it, and so I no longer bottled it up. I’m not completely free of it but now I am much more aware of the triggers and the things or situations that can cause it to rear its ugly head.

The ocean calms my soul. Image @laluphoto_perth

“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, she turned into a butterfly.”

Today I acknowledge it, admitting how much it has been eating me up lately hiding behind my smile, trying to tell me I’m not enough, that I can’t do it all, that I’m not worthy.

I had a cry, it felt good to release it – I sat with the emotions and let them flow. It’s uncomfortable but worth it I promise.

It made me realize all the triggers id been ignoring, all the work I was doing, the underlying trauma still there that I don’t like dealing with and the direction I want to take next.

The speed of life can feel hectic at times, in this fast-paced world, social media constantly at our fingertips, life – its easy to get caught up – forgetting we are allowed to pause. Be still. Reevaluate. Take time to heal.

Anxiety is actually normal, it is hardwired into to us so it will never be something that will be completely gone forever, its useful and needed in life to save us from certain situations or dangers – but sometimes we hold on to it, not understanding exactly how to let the body and mind relax. Keeping that in mind we can learn to manage it, it is not something that we cannot learn to control.

Despite working on it – Some days are just plain tough and that’s okay, there are going to be days that you don’t have it completely under control but cut yourself some slack and don’t take it personally. Be gentle with yourself and try replace your negative thoughts with ones that are more positive.

Remember you are not alone in this – so many these days suffer from anxiety, seek support from others when you need it, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Reaching out shows strength and also demonstrates bravery for speaking out.

I don’t have the answers, it may be something I’ll always work on, but I do know this; we are not our anxiety. I’m not alone in it and neither are you.

Take one day at a time.

Rose @roseoates_

#youarenotalone #itsokaynottobeokay

Don’t ever hesitate to reach out for help if you need it, either to a professional, friends or family. There are many resources you can access online and over the phone too.

Beyond Blue

Black Dog Institute –Anxiety Help and Support

Australian Psychological Society – Find a Psychologist

Find a social worker

If you or someone you know is in crisis and needs help now, call triple zero (000).

You can also call  Lifeline  on 13 11 14 — 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

4 of my favourite Perth family friendly Cafes.

4 of my favourite Perth family friendly Cafes.

Coffee. The universal fuel for parents everywhere. Every parent needs a good cup of coffee and some good food that someone else has prepared. We also want to be able to eat and drink in a relaxing environment where we feel the kids are not only catered for, but are welcome and not going to get bored in under 5 minutes…

So with little ones in tow – where to go?

Luckily Perth is full of places that welcome us and our tiny humans in with open arms. Here are just four of the many Perth family friendly cafes and restaurants to try!

SISTAS BURNS BEACH

This is one of my personal favourites; Sistas at Burns Beach. Set right in front of one of our beautiful beaches – here you will not only find a kid and dog-friendly venue but great coffee, freshly pressed juices, babycinos and delicious food with the very hearty portions. Let us not forget the friendly, accommodating staff who will have you feeling like one of the locals in no time.

Sistas Burn Beach is the perfect place to have a coffee and bite to eat with the family and afterwards there is the option of heading to the beach, take the kids for a play at the huge park and playground right across the road or even go for a ride or walk on the coast path all in one location.

Maybe you’re a Dog parent? Well rest assure your furry children will also feel quite at home here, water bowls available and they even have doggy treats on the menu that can be ordered for your special furry family members.

Octavia and I, in front of the mural at Sistas Burns Beach Photo – Insta hubby Craig

Inside they also have a selection of indoor plants and gorgeous children’s clothing available to purchase. This is a busy Perth family friendly cafe and it is easy to see why!

Find Sistas Burns Beach Cafe on INSTAGRAM or on FACEBOOK

Address: 35 OCEAN PDE, Iluka Western Australia 6028

Opening Hours: 7:30 AM – 5:00 PM

Get this for family Sistas have a baby Sista – Lil’ Sistas Yanchep in the outer northern suburbs

Located: 99 Lindsay Boulevard, Yanchep, Wanneroo

ESPREZZO

Esprezzo cafe is located inside the complex at Noranda shopping complex and has been embraced the local community. Focusing on fresh healthy food, organic fair-trade coffee and tea and friendly, personal customer service.

The coffee is incredible so be sure to have a cup to go along with the cutest babycinos for your mini. There is also a little play area for kids with chalkboard, books and some toys, plenty of high chairs and a toilets/parent room just adjacent to the cafe. Between 8 am – 2 pm they have a Kid Menu available, including Kids bacon and Eggs, toasties, Kid friendly pressed juices and milkshakes.

Photo Esprezzo

Esprezzo check the website HERE or take a look at some of the amazing food and coffee on INSTAGRAM

Opening Hours: 8:00am – 5:00pm (Mon-Sat)

Kitchen closes at 2 pm (Cabinet food still available after this time)

Address: Noranda Village S/C, Benara Rd Noranda

ROAR BAR AND GRILL

At Roar Bar and Grill, you can tell this restaurant was created by parents for parents! Here they are passionate about having a space that is for the whole family to enjoy a good meal, relax and ensure everybody is entertained!

Photo Roar Bar & Grill

Not only do they have a delicious menu for both the kids and the parents, but the standout and point of difference is the amazing playground and shaded bouncing pillow. There is plenty of seating to keep a close eye on your little ones while you get to finish enjoying your meal in full, without ANY complaints of the kids being “bored”, if anything they won’t want to leave. Perth family friendly cafes at its finest!

Photo Roar Bar and Grill

With a relaxed, comfortable atmosphere and friendly service Roar Bar and Grill is worth a visit.

High Chairs and all parent/children facilities are available.

Located: 23 Port Kembla Dr, Bibra Lake WA 6163

Weekdays : Monday to Wednesday 7am to 3.30pm
Thursday to Friday 7am to 9pm

Weekends: Saturday 7am to 9pm
Sunday 7am to 9pm

Find them them online HERE or on Instagram

MASONMILL GARDENS

Masonmill Gardens is just an all-round beautiful place to visit with kids and family. The restaurant opens for breakfast and lunch till 4 pm with simple yet delicious favourites on the menu and options for Kids sized breakfasts and lunch. Alternatively, head down for tea or coffee and choose a piece of cake from their large selection before checking out all the activities you can do while here!

Masonmill Gardens has a playground which has a cubby house, rope ramp, stepping logs and slide. The play area is fully fenced off and protected by a safety gate that leads to an undercover patio area.

Masonmill Gardens playground. Photo Masonmill Gardens

While there definitely check out the Koi pond, which is fed from a natural underwater spring. You can even get a bag of Fish food from gift shop or main restaurant for $2.50 and feed the Koi fish!

The Koi Pond. Photo Masonmill Gardens

But there is still more! On the grounds across from the coffee shop there is MINI GOLF and bouncy castle which is free for the kids only haha

Mini Golf opening hours:

Saturday        9:00 pm – Last round at 3:30 pm
Sunday           9:00 pm – Last round at 3:30 pm

Prices

Adults (16 years +) $18
Children $12
Family (2 Adults 2 Children) $45

Check out Masonmill Gardens online HERE

Location: 40 Masonmill Road, Carmel WA 6076

The fear of starting something New.

The fear of starting something New.

Remember when you were first learning to drive?
Out of our comfort zone, but still equally excited to learn, you have both hands on the wheel, nervous to pull out into traffic, possibly scaring yourself and your driving instructor to death, not to mention the zillion attempts to parallel park… (actually that’s still me now haha)

Well, that’s like starting anything new, whether it’s becoming a parent, a new business/job, maybe its learning to dance or even hitting the gym for the first time ever.

It’s scary at first, it feels like you just might not be able to do it and geez it feels a little embarrassing when you make a mistake.
When you are on the journey to making your dreams a reality – there are going to be times you feel completely out of your depth, question yourself and occasionally take two steps forward and one step back.

But every day you are learning, practising and getting better.
With hard work, persistence, a little help and guidance along the way – your confidence will grow, your skills will improve and soon just like driving it won’t feel hard anymore, it will be second nature.

So NEVER give up.
Believe in yourself.
You can and will learn, and continue to improve- just keep on hustling!

You will get there – just like driving, fast forward to now, you’re cruising out of the driveway without a worry in the world, coffee to your side, music on, kids in the back and it just feels like second nature now, all except the parallel parking of course… but hey we do always have to keep learning along the way too.

Rose xo

5 Ways to say NO so you can say YES to yourself.

5 Ways to say NO so you can say YES to yourself.

This week has been tough, literally no sleep for this Mama – I’m currently wishing my eye bags were designer ones haha.

So lack of sleep coupled with juggling the other kids, writing, scrubbing muddy softball uniforms and a list of engagements that I had taken on, it was safe to say I was not only run down physically but mentally as well.

Octavia playing in her fresh and clean room. Photo Rose Oates

I had kept saying YES to everything, I hate letting people down but in turn I was letting myself down and my family was ending up with a tired, grumpy mama and wife.

By saying NO to others when you need to, it’s like saying YES to yourself.

How often do we say yes to all the invites, to the extra shift at work, to baking the cupcakes for the school sale and putting pressure on ourself to do all the things?

It honestly can be so hard to say NO but if you don’t sometimes you aren’t allowing yourself to say YES to things you need for yourself.

Here are some ways to say no to others and start saying YES to yourself:
  1. Decline Invitations. Start by politely declining any invites to things that you cannot fit in or simply don’t want to go to.

2. Be honest – Don’t feel as if you need to make an excuse just to say No. If you are exhausted just say it how it is: people appreciate honesty over an excuse.

3. Schedule yourself in.
Pop yourself in the diary like for example I go to yoga on a Wednesday at 6:30pm, so if something comes up, I work around it NOT cancel it.

Treat it as an important appointment for yourself.

4. Let go of the GUILT. This can be hard but by saying yes to everything you ultimately will be sacrificing something – that might time with your own family or actually running yourself down mentally and physically.
So let go of the guilt. People that love and care about you won’t want you to feel guilty anyway.

5. Say YES to the things that matter. When you do say YES, do it for things that really matter to you, say yes when you know you can complete the tasks without draining yourself completely and do it with your heart.

Hope you say YES to the things you want more often by being less busy because you have said No when you need to.

So this past week I let go of the guilt and said NO cleaning, especially as we had just finished painting the week before and said YES to the offer from Fantastic Services to collaborate. So this meant getting the awesome team from Fantastic Services to come and do a full Spring clean, which after all the sanding and painting was something we really needed.

One of the lovely Fantastic Services staff in the playroom.

The team gave the house a full Spring clean while I chilled out, drank my coffee while it was still hot, got some work done AND Octavia slept the whole time!! She loves the sound of the vacuum!

If you want a break and a clean house you can use my code: justyouraveragerose for $20 credit towards your first clean or service with Fantasic services! You can check out their services HERE #jyarcollab

Easy Gluten Free Choc Chip Cookies

Easy Gluten Free Choc Chip Cookies

These are my Mum’s classic choc chip cookies that I modified to be Gluten free. These cookies are easy to make, they are lighter and a little softer than the non gluten free recipe but just as tasty!

  • ¾ Cup butter
  • ½ Cup sugar
  • ¾ Cup brown sugar
  • 1 large Egg
  • 2 ½ cups Gluten Free plain flour
  • 250 grams Chocolate chips
  • 1 teaspoon Vanilla essence
  • 3 Tablespoons milk
  • 1 teaspoon Baking powder
  • Pinch of salt
  • Optional only – 1 cup of Walnuts

Method: Cream butter and white and brown sugars, then beat in the egg, vanilla and milk. Sift in flour with the baking powder and salt. Stir into the mixture. Then stir in the chocolate chips and nuts (nuts are optional)

Grease two teaspoons and place teaspoon size balls on to a tray lined with baking paper. Allow about 5 cms between cookies.

Bake in a pre-heated oven 170C fan forced oven for 10mins, depending on the size of your cookies. They should look a light golden brown colour once baked.

Time also depends on your personal taste: less time equals a softer cookie, longer a crunchier style cookie.

Loosen from tray with a spatula while still quite warm and cool on a baking rack. Store in an air-tight container. These cookies also freeze well!

These choc chip cookies can be made exactly the same with regular flour, just replace the Gluten free flour in the same quantity.

Makes about 40 cookies.